The Fugitive Kind
by theblackbirdsong
Summary: In a time of war, the same request comes from a different mouth a year later and forms an unlikely bond between an ex-Death Eater and the girl he can't get out of his head
1. Chapter 1

After months of reading so many beautiful Dramione fics I have decided to write one of my own. I really shouldn't be writing fanfiction when I have a ten page research paper due on Monday I haven't started but here I am...Anyways, please enjoy!

much love

BBS

* * *

 _"Wild things leave skins behind them_

 _Clean skin, teeth and white bones_

 _These are things passed one to another_

 _So the fugitive kind can follow their kind"_

The Fugitive Kind by The Trigger Code

* * *

It was like being trapped in the night sky.

Curses exploded around her like Muggle fireworks, splintering trees and only just missing as she ran through the woods. Trees ripped at her skin and hair as she let the flashes of bright green light her way. Her lungs burned as she pushed herself further into the night, weighed down by the bag full of supplies she stole from what they had thought to be an empty Muggle vacation home.

It turned out that empty Muggle home wasn't actually empty as it was actually housing five Death Eaters. A creak from the second floor her had her shoving food in her bag before stupefying the one on the couch and tearing out the door.

She bit back a scream when a curse grazed over her skull and broke her disillusionment charm.

The mission was supposed to be an easy one. It was why she was alone. Raid an empty home, grab some food and medicine, and don't die so it could be brought back to headquarters.

The "don't die" part was proving to be a challenged

She felt a painful sting at her side and cried out, falling to the ground.

The curses stopped and the darkness closed in. She pulled herself behind a tree, covering her mouth with one hand to quiet her labored breathing as she thought of her next move. With the other hand, she held her wand steadily. The Portkey would expire soon and she had no time to sit around hiding.

Also she wasn't sorted into Gryffindor for nothing

Sticks and dry leaves snapped under heavy boots

"Stealing? Surely, you know what happens to naughty little witches?"

She wracked her brain trying to recognize the owner of the voice, but found it unfamiliar

The Death Eaters laughed and she saw the light from three wands move across the forest floor and closer to her spot behind the tree.

"They get –"

" _Stupefy!"_

The Death Eater to her left flew back and smacked into a tree, the sound of his spine breaking whipping the air. Only a moment passed before the screaming came and hell broke loose once again. The other two men attacked ruthlessly, deadly green and yellow flashed around her as she blocked one after the other. She heard the large branch above her snap and she ran from crushing weight, blocking another spell aimed for her chest

" _Expelliarmus!"_

She couldn't help the smug smile on her face when she heard the cry of frustration as a wand landed somewhere in the dark forest. She stunned the wandless man and searched the darkness for the remaining Death Eater. Two down, one more to go.

Her victory was short lived as a tree exploded and tossed her backwards. Debris flew in her face as her head hit the ground and stars exploded in her vision. She scrambled away from a Crucio, blinking away the dizziness. A feeling of dread almost knocked her back down. Her hands searched the ground

Wand. Wand. Wand. Where was her damn wand?

" _Avad-"_

Finally her hand closed around her wand

" _Stupefy!"_

The Death Eater flew from her and landed roughly on the ground. Once again, Hermione was surrounded only by quiet darkness and the sound of her own breathing. She pulled herself off the ground, petrifying each of the men and snapping each of their wands before running to the portkey's hiding place.

The world twisted and turned, threatening to pull her into unconsciousness as she forced herself forward

Finally, she found the old hiking boot under the pine tree and grabbed it, instantly feeling the unpleasant pull just behind her navel.

* * *

Her head met the ground for a second time that night as she arrived in an empty field. When her hand found her full bag of supplies, she let out a sob of relief as she laid among the gently swaying tall grass. She grimaced as she pulled herself up and tossed her bag over her shoulder. A wave of nausea hit her and doubled over to throw up.

She heard a pop and a figure appeared ahead of her. She lifted her arms in surrender, flinching away from the bright source of light at the end of a wand. For a moment, she saw the figure falter at the sight of her, cursing under his breath. He spoke, wand pointed towards her

"What did I give Harry the first time we met?"

"A piece of chocolate."

Remus Lupin lowered his wand and rushed towards her. He gripped her shoulders, catching her as she stumbled forward.

"What happened?"

"Wasn't empty."

She heard her words slur and the world started to tug away from her as she was lifted from the ground. Her head bounced against his chest and she willed herself not to vomit all over her old professor as they apparated.

* * *

"Someone help!"

The door jerked open and Hermione heard Mrs. Weasley gasp as Lupin pushed past her. Even with her eyes closed the lights in the house were far too bright. Somewhere in the distance, Hermione heard the matriarch being to cry. She felt the rumble of Lupin's voice,

"She's alive, Molly."

Hermione felt the urge to comfort the crying woman and tried talking again.

"S'not as bad s'it looks."

Thunderous footsteps came down the stairs as Lupin laid her carefully on the couch. She heard Harry call out to her as her hand tentatively reached for her forehead. She felt a distant pain as Lupin stared down at her, so much worry in his gentle eyes as he handed her a potion which she took without question. Her lips felt as heavy as her head

"'anks."

The cool liquid reminded her of the mouthwash her parents would get for her. She closed her eyes as she shoved away the thought of her parents and locked it away.

The effects of the potion worked quickly and she no longer felt like her brain was going to burst through her skull. A wave of exhaustion threatened to pull her under

"Stay awake, Hermione"

A hand cupped her cheek and her eyes flickered open to see Harry staring down at her as he gently brushed his thumb over her skin. She set a hand over his,

"M'fine, Harry."

Her words did nothing to alleviate the concern in his eyes, but he helped her sit up. She groaned, her bruised limbs protesting. Lupin frowned

"We're out of the bruise paste or else I'd give you some."

Hermione's eyes lit up, feeling the excitement stir in her at the prospect of creating something.

"Oh! I'll make some more! I'm sure you just used the last of the dizziness draught on me too. Although we'll have to ask Professor Snape to bring more moondew…Or maybe we… "

Harry cut her off by grabbing her hand,

"Don't worry about that right now. What happened?"

She felt the couch dip beside her and Ron joined her. She tried not to notice the redness around his eyes.

She must look like hell

"The house wasn't as empty as we thought."

Tonks' eyes widened

"But it's been empty for weeks. It's the only reason we sent you alone."

Ron's face twisted in confusion

"Muggles did this to you?"

Hermione shook her head

"Death Eaters"

The room erupted into chaos and questions until Lupin quieted them enough so she could speak. She told the story watching as horror spread across their features. Mrs. Weasley looked as if she was trying to decide whether to cry or yell and Hermione was almost grateful she decided on the latter.

"She could have died! All for a couple cans of soup!"

The room quieted as the others looked ashamed. Lupin gave her a painful look of regret while Tonks' eyes glittered with shame. Hating the guilt her friends were feeling, Hermione spoke again

"To be fair, I grabbed more than a couple cans of soup."

Fred and George let out a bark of laughter and she even noticed some tension fall from Lupin's shoulders. Mrs. Weasley looked unamused but she softened at Hermione's small reassuring smile

"Honestly Mrs. Weasley, I'm fine."

The matriarch's eyes filled with tears before nodding once and heading to the kitchen, mumbling something about heart attacks and tea

Suddenly she was pulled into Harry's embrace and despite her bruised body, she held him right back.

"When Lupin carried you in, I thought…"

"Oh Harry, I was hardly on my death bed."

He released her from his embrace and looked her over as she rolled her eyes. To her relief, the group finally relaxed into the various couches and chairs in the room. Ron pulled her in with one arm, pressing a kiss to her temple

"Don't make a habit of it."

Ginny grinned at her as she pulled a chair closer to the trio

"Didn't want to say this with mum in the room but you're a total badass, Hermione."

Across the room, Tonks raised her mug and winked at her

"Agreed."

Ron leaned back on the cushions

"The most exciting part of my trip was when a muggle asked me for some spare change."

Hermione gripped his arm, struggling to keep a straight face

"Well you can't possibly leave us hanging like that!"

"Well then…oh piss off!"

They laughed as he hit her with a pillow and Hermione couldn't believe that only an hour ago, she was running for her life. The fire crackled in the furnace, wrapping her in warmth as she watched her friends laugh and the tension roll from their shoulders. Before she sunk deeper in the cushions and fell asleep, Hermione pulled herself to her feet,

"Where are you going?"

The group turned towards her at Ron's question.

"To go pull an entire forest out of my hair and wash up."

She pulled a leaf from the mass of curls on her head and held it up for him. Ron rolled his eyes and waved her away while Harry smiled warmly at her,

"We'll be up later to check on you."

Just like that, the group returned to normal and Hermione was immensely grateful for it as she dragged herself up the stairs.

She flicked on the light in the bathroom and grimaced at the sight of her reflection. Dirt and blood were smeared across her forehead and she saw the fresh scar above her eyebrow. Lupin must've healed it for her. Smaller cuts were scattered across her face from the explosion, a shadow of a bruise blossoming on her cheekbone. She removed her shirt and pressed at the large darkening bruise on the side of her ribs. They had hit her with a nasty curse but at least she wasn't dead.

With the adrenaline gone, she heard herself whimper in pain as she climbed into the shower. Bits of earth and blood swirled down the drain as the hot water ran over her skin. She closed her eyes as the night washed away from her.

It had been two years since the trio began searching for Horocruxes while also helping the Order take down Voldemort's forces. She swore it felt more like ten. The Death Eaters had become much more vicious, torturing and slaughtering muggle-borns in ways that plagued her worst nightmares.

Her fingers brushed over the scarred flesh on her arm

 _M…U…D…B…L…O…O…D_

One year since Bellatrix carved the ugly word into her arm and tortured her on the ornate marble floor of Malfoy Manor. If she thought too much about that night, she could almost remember exactly the way her throat felt as her screams tore through it. She could almost remember how unfamiliar her own voice sounded as she…

 _No_

That memory was packed right up in a box and shoved far, far away.

She shut off the water and grabbed a towel, carefully wrapping it around herself before heading down the hallway to the room she shared with Ginny. Digging through one of the drawers, she found a shirt that she was sure belonged to Harry or Ron at some point and slid it on.

She carefully got into bed, biting back any sounds of pain. Downstairs, she heard the static of the radio then Lee Jordan deliver words of encouragement before listing the names of the dead. She tried to cling onto each name and she was pulled into sleep.

 _I'm sorry you had to die._

 _I'm sorry this isn't over yet._

 _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

* * *

" _Malfoy…Draco, please…make it stop"_

He sat up with a gasp, cursing as he ran his hands over his face and into his hair. His clothes clung to his fevered skin as he trembled in the cold November air. The ghost of his name sent a shiver down his spine

It was always the same dream.

"Fuck!"

Draco laid back on the hard floor digging the heel of his palms into his eyes and forcing away the image of her looking up at him with her brown eyes. He swore he could still hear her screaming over the sound of the howling wind outside.

The night she was tortured on the floor of his family home was carved into him like the dark mark on his arm.

" _Lumos"_

Light poured across the rotting floor and rats disappeared into its cracks. He pulled back his blanket and use the light from his wand to examine the gash in his leg, immediately regretting the decision.

He knew an infection when he saw one.

Careful not to move his mangled leg, he pulled the cloak tighter around him and pointed his wand across the room. The light flooded over an old crumbling fireplace and a broken rocking chair and Draco was entirely disappointed that this was where he was going to die.

It was his own fault that this was where his mind wandered after catching Dolohov's curse. Some random cabin he had walked by during a mission almost a year and a half ago. It was almost like he tried to think of the shittiest place to die. He wondered what cruel deity kept him from fatally splinching himself and figured that it was probably the same one that had watched him become a Death Eater

But he wasn't that. Not anymore.

Not since his parents were murdered and his childhood home was turned into a glorified torture chamber.

He closed his eyes, sleep beginning to claim once again

Now he was just Draco Malfoy

Ex-Death Eater, future dead person, and completely and utterly alone

"… _please…kill me…"_


	2. Chapter 2

I saw your face reflected on the resonant screen  
And I watched your mouth moving like a tired machine  
Trying to plead with me  
Trying to swallow me whole.

It's been a while  
Since I've been gone and away  
And I watched your eyes reflect me in a terrible way

Discoloration By Dawn Golden

…

Hermione sat at her desk as she flipped through the yellowed pages of the old book, carefully trying to avoid ripping the pages with her bitter disappointment. It's not like she expected an explicit guide on how to destroy horcruxes after a goblin steals your sword of Gryffindor, but it was still a letdown. If she ever saw Gripphook again, she'd rip off his bloody head.

She hated that she still got excited every time one of them brought back another book from a raid. Angry tears burned her eyes, blurring the words in front of her before she slammed it closed and added it to the growing pile of books that were useless to her.

Well not entirely useless.

She had learned a disturbing amount of dark magic from them. Horrifying spells that would creep into her mind and tempt her during battles when she saw her friends fighting for their lives. Organ-eating, skin-melting curses that were made from the stuff nightmares and often made appearances in her own. For every bit of darkness she stumbled upon, she always looked for light.

Counter-curses, protection charms, healing potions

They were all under her belt as well. She just had to make sure those stayed on the tip of her wand instead during her darker moments.

She looked at the list of definite and possible horcruxes for the hundredth millionth time

 _Ring. Destroyed. Diary. Destroyed. Locket…_

She sneered at the small box on her desk holding the offending object. She was always putting horrible things in boxes. When she was working at night she heard the whispers coming from under the closed lid. It was part of the reason she moved her "office" from her room with Ginny to the basement.

It made the nightmares worse

The horcrux hunt had been put on hold as Voldemort's ranks increased in size. Staying alive was hard enough without having to find and destroy evil soul-housing objects.

They had a strong suspicion that the monster's snake was also horcrux since it never left his bloody side.

She massaged her temples, feeling the lingering headache from her concussion the night before.

"Mione! Lunch!"

She squinted up at the silhouette standing at the top of the basement stairs and heard the chatter from the others in the house preparing their food. Truthfully, she'd been avoiding the prying eyes of her friends and the other Order members. She looked like an absolute wreck. Her sleep last night had been an absolute joke as any sort of movement caused her a not insignificant amount of pain. She had finally got out of bed around three and took to her work, hoping it would distract her from the aches and sharp pains in her body.

Like most of her work lately, there was minimal success

"Coming!"

Standing up was no small effort as her ribs protested and she groaned

The stairs creaked and she heard the worry in Ron's voice

"Are you okay?"

Seriously? Even an eye roll was painful?

"Yes, Ronald"

She stuck her wand into her messy bun, or rather a regular Hermione bun, as she ascended the stairs, keeping her face down as she moved past him and headed to the table where loaves of bread, jars of peanut butter, and various jellies waited. A small smile crept on her face at the set up as she was reminded of school days before everything was so fucked up.

"Hermione?"

She didn't look up at her name and continued smearing peanut butter on her bread with a sudden determination to cover every square inch

"Yes Harry?"

"You weren't in your room this morning"

She gave the grape jelly the same amount of attention,

"Mhm. I was in the basement working."

"Hermione…"

Finally she set down the knife and looked up at him expectedly. His green eyes looked over her face that she knew was bruised and exhausted. Harry frowned at her,

"You shouldn't spend all your time around that thing."

Ginny glanced between the two expectedly while Hermione raised an eyebrow

"Well I've been telling you the same thing about Ron for years but you never listened either."

Fred and George laughed from across the table and Ron looked up from his sandwich and gave her a bewildered look, speaking around the food in his mouth

"What the bloody hell did I do?!"

Being around that horrible locket always put her in the worst mood. She softened, finishing the first bite of her sandwich, "I'm sorry, Ron. I'm just tired."

 _And disappointed. And in pain. And incredibly frustrated with my lack of progress_

Remus Lupin walked into the room, carrying two cups of tea and handed one to her

"You look like you could use it."

She gratefully accepted the steaming mug

"You're my favorite professor of all time," he raised an eyebrow before she continued, "don't tell Professor McGonagall."

He laughed and took a seat next to her

"Your secret is safe with me. Severus stopped by late last night and I put in your request for more ingredients."

She snorted

"I bet he was thrilled."

The small crawled onto her old professor's face

"Practically jumped for joy, that one," he tapped his chipped mug to hers, "cheers."

She took a sip and immediately discerned the menthol and licorice taste of a pain potion underlying the tea and honey. Its numbing effects oozed through her system while her face twisted in disgust

"Yuck. You drugged me."

She couldn't bring herself to feel any true malice as the pain crept away and her limbs became relaxed. Having grown quite a soft spot for his ex-student, he smiled at her as he watch the tension fall from her shoulders and the color return to her skin

"You needed it and I needed a drinking buddy," he took a sip of his own and grimaced, "At least you get honey."

"I thought we already used the last of it," she asked frowning at her mug as guilt caused her a whole different kind of pain. Surely someone else would need this more than she did. She felt someone nudge her foot under the table and she caught Harry's stare again,

"Hermione, it's alright. Snape brought us more. You're obviously in pain"

Her mouth twitched into a quick smile,

"Isn't _my_ job to be worrying about _you_?"

Harry shook his head and took a bite of his sandwich before gesturing towards her mug

"Drink your bloody tea, you infuriating woman."

…

He refused to open his eyes at the sound of his mother's voice because he knew she was not there. He knew the gentle hands that brushed his hair away from his fevered forehead were actually buried on the grounds of Malfoy Manor.

And he knew this because he and Theo had dug the hole

" _Draco, you'll be alright. I'm here. I'm here."_

Tears burned his eyes and dripped down the side of his face. Delicate fingers brushed them away

" _Shh. Don't cry, my star."_

He desperately wanted to see his mother's face, but he was afraid that if he opened them, she'd disappear and he'd be left to die alone.

" _I'm so sorry I left you. I'm so sorry you're in so much pain"_

This time the sob tore through his throat. He missed her so much.

" _Your father and I love you so much. Please understand that. We only wanted to give you the world"_

He thought of the world he lived in now. What an ugly, ugly gift.

The press of lips to his forehead felt so real, he opened his eyes to search for his mother's face. No one was there except him and the rats. His mother was back in her grave with his father.

…

"In an hour we will use the portkey for the meeting place to trade some supplies with Neville, Luna, Dean, and Seamus. It should be fairly quick. Fred and George are going to Shell Cottage to exchange information will Bill, Charlie, and Fleur. Lupin and Tonks will be exchanging with McGonagall, Kingsley, Moody, and Sprout. Any questions?"

Ron leaned back in his chair,

"Where exactly are we meeting them?"

She waved her hand dismissively

"It's near some cabin. Luna picked it."

"…Are we sure it exists?"

She slapped his chest, but didn't keep the smirk off her face

"Yes. I've seen it myself."

…

The bare trees offered them little protection from the harsh wind as it whipped through its branches. The ground was hard under their feet as they walked to their meeting point with their old schoolmates, twigs snapping under their feet. The sun was sinking below the horizon and Hermione could make out the waxing moon in the sky as she pulled her scarf tighter around her neck as they climbed up the terrain.

She took Harry's offered hand and he pulled her up

"How're you doing?

She sighed, her breath visible in the air as she reached out to cover the tips of his red ears with his hat

"For the millionth time in the last five minutes, I'm doing fine."

Truthfully the hike was doing nothing to help her bruised body

He reached out and tugged her hat down over her eyes, "Now you know how we feel when you fuss over us."

She pulled it back and hit him

"I do not fuss!"

He laughed and for a moment Hermione could pretend they were all on holiday together just hiking to their cabin to play drinking games by a fire. Ginny stopped, holding out her arm and tilting her head to listen

"Did you hear that?"

A branch snapped in the distance and they all whipped their wands out. A wispy light hopped towards them and they sagged in relief as they recognized Luna's patronus. Harry responded with his own and they watched it leap out of sight. The sound of crunching leaves came moments later as Neville and Luna came into view followed by Seamus and Dean, carrying large bags behind them.

They greeted each other with tight hugs, relieved to see each other alive and unharmed. Neville smiled brightly as he shrugged the bag off of his shoulder,

"Long time, no see."

Ginny put her hands on her hips unable to contain the grin on her face

"That was a bloody trek"

Dean held up his hands in surrender with a smile as equally wide

"It was Luna's idea."

The blonde rocked back onto her heels, a dreamy smile on her face as she looked around

"I thought you could use the fresh air."

They walked a little longer and Neville pointed off in the direction of the old cabin. Ron tugged his hat over his ears.

"Well why aren't we there instead of freezing our asses off out here?"

Seamus crinkled his nose in distaste,

"Because it's haunted and the slightest gust of wind will send it to the bloody ground."

Unconvinced, the older Weasley rolled his eyes as he rubbed his arms

"Plus Ron," Ginny continued with a grin, "there'd be hundreds of spiders" she crept her fingers across his arm and he paled

"Piss off," he grumbled and shoved her away as the group laughed

After casting a disillusionment charm and lighting a fire, the old Hogwarts students traded supplies. Darkness quickly fell around them as Ginny handed Neville, Luna, Seamus, and Dean a scarf Mrs. Weasley had knitted for them in their respective house colors. They accepted them with laughs as they gratefully wrapped themselves in them. When the final cans of tuna were traded for a vial of blood replenishing potion, Hermione pulled a backpack from her charmed bag, and handed it to Neville who flipped it over in his hands

"This bag has an extendable charm on it. I have one of my own but it's saved us so many times…I had to make one for you."

The four crowded around the object looking at it in wonder. Neville shook his head and holding it out to her

"We can't…"

"I know it's not exactly legal…"

Neville shook his head, giving a small breathy laugh "No Hermione it's not that. It's just…this is too valuable. We have nothing to trade you for it."

Hermione gave him a small smile and pushed it back towards him,

"This isn't a trade. It's a gift."

She let out a surprised yelp when he pulled her into a hug, but quickly recovered and hugged him back. Bruised body, be damned. Tears prickled her eyes

"It really is good to see you guys."

He gave her one more squeeze before letting go

"We'll see you soon, yeah?"

They watched as their classmates apparated from their sight and Hermione fought the urge to cry. There was always the possibility that it was the last time she saw her friends, felt their beating hearts against hers as she held them tightly. A hand on her shoulder jerked her from her depressing thoughts,

"Let's head back."

"What's the rush?"

Figures stepped out of the trees and Hermione felt slight relief when she recognized them as snatchers.

Cattle not quite good enough to be branded

The relief quickly vanished when she saw that they were outnumbered. Harry pulled her closer to him and she watched as Ron did the same with Ginny. She was immediately grateful for Mrs. Weasley's insistence that they wear hats and scarves, hiding their recognizable features and Harry's scar.

Hermione stuck her hands in her pockets, wrapping her hand around her wand. Ron shrugged, nonchalantly, "Just getting dark is all."

She watched as a sweet smile stretched across Ginny's face,

"How can we help you?"

The Snatcher scanned Ginny's body and Hermione's grip tightened on Harry as he moved to step forward

"I can think of a few ways you can help us."

"Oi! That's my sister!"

The Snatchers laughed as Ron pulled Ginny behind him. The apparent leader stepped forward. They were a lot more organized than she remembered

"Someone around here said the taboo. Just need to clear your name and blood status and we can all go on our merry way."

The four glanced at each other in confusion. None of them had said the name. They had avoided it like the plague ever since their first run in. Ron feigned annoyance and crossed his arms, "Right then. Jonathan Bones, half-blood."

The Snatcher scanned the list and nodded before looking towards Ginny

"Susan Bones, half-blood."

Another nod after a pause and a look towards Harry

"Roger Davies, half-blood."

Finally his eyes settled on Hermione and he gave her a yellow smile

"And you, pretty girl?"

She heard Ron grumble and the Snatcher shot him a look

"What? Is she your sister too? Is this a bloody family hike?"

She spoke quickly forcing the Snatcher's attention back to her

"Penelope Clearwater. Half-blood, sir."

He looked down the list, the pause longer than the others. Her chest was coiled in tension before giving her another smile

"There you are, love."

She relaxed and loosened her grip on Harry's arm as the man tucked the list back into his pocket. A carefully borrowed name usually did the trick

"Now which one of you is fucking lying to us?"

Red light whizzed by her ear and knocked the snatcher to the ground while Ginny and Ron took down another two. Harry pulled her along as she sent her own stunner towards the men just before the Weasley siblings were whipped from sight. She pushed Harry away from an oncoming curse and watched as he reached into his pocket, grabbing the wrapped portkey.

"Grab my hand!"

Her fingers barely brushed his before a boulder exploded into front of them and knocked her away just before she caught Harry's widened eyes as he disappeared.

No portkey, no headquarters

She wracked her brain to think of another place to apparate when the old cabin popped into her mind

" _It's near some cabin. Luna picked it."_

"… _Are we sure it exists?"_

" _Yes. I've seen it myself."_

With a sharp tug, she was whipped away.

…

His father came to see him too. Draco could hear his voice coming from the far corner of the room

" _Get up, Draco."_

"What? Am I not dying good enough for you? For once, father, give it a rest"

He was aware he was talking to a hallucination, but it was oddly peaceful to have one more argument with the late Lucius Malfoy.

" _You're giving up. How unsurprising"_

"That is a characteristic of dying, yes," when he didn't hear an answer, he felt a swell of panic and pushed harder, "Where's mother? She's much nicer."

The sneer in his father's voice almost made him smile. The man could never resist a good prod

" _She always did coddle you. It's probably why you're giving in so easily."_

"See? Much nicer."

" _You cannot die, Draco. You must carry on the Malfoy name."_

Draco frowned

"What left is there to carry?"

This time when his father spoke, his voice was closer

" _This is my fault. I shouldn't have brought the Dark Lord into our home."_

The admission hung heavy in the empty cabin. He'd heard this before, shortly before the man was murdered. Draco swallowed

"Voldemort didn't give us much of a choice did he?"

" _No"_

"You really fucked things up but at least you were always there for me"

He thought the words might've been too sentimental for the stoic man. Moments later he heard the response

" _I'm still with you, Draco."_

…

The cabin had seen better days. It had been a couple years since she'd stumbled across the place with Luna and Neville but those couple of years had done a number on it

She knew the feeling

The light from her wand guided her towards the door as she listened intently to her surroundings. All she had to do was get inside, send her patronus, and get a portkey home. The door nudged open easily and her light flooded the decaying cabin. It settled on a heap in the corner. She walked closer to it and stopped, almost dropping her wand

It had been a year since she'd seen him but she'd know that pale blond hair anywhere.

"Malfoy?"

…

The sound of her voice made his heart sink. It was how all the nightmares started.

"Malfoy?"

The image of her brown eyes begging for death pushed its way into his mind one last time. He felt her cold hands on his face, cooling his fevered skin.

"Open your eyes. Draco, please."

" _Draco…please"_

He was gripped in the all too familiar terror of reliving that horrible night in the Manor. His hand grabbed the one resting on his cheek. The very real, fluttering heartbeat under his thumb forced his eyes open.

The same girl that haunted his dreams that forced him awake night after night stared down at him with wide eyes. He knew she saw death creeping into his eyes. A former lost cause knows how to recognize a lost cause.

"Granger, please…" he could feel the heat radiating from her body as she sat so close to him. He could die like this, he decided. Even if it was with her. At least he was not alone,

"Please just kill me..."

The world was almost rid of its Malfoy's. At the hand of a Mudblood, no less

"How could you ask that of me?"

He felt a sickening wave of shame as he forced himself to look up into the same brown eyes he had stared down at a year ago.

The familiarity of the request was not lost on him as he begged whoever or whatever was listening that Granger didn't leave him to suffer just as he did her. Though there would be a certain poetic justice to it all. His hand gripped her sleeve

"Don't leave."

He expected to see disgust in her eyes, maybe even anger crackling in the gold of her irises. Instead there was sorrow.

It was a thousand times worse.

"I won't leave you, Malfoy"

A burst of bright light filled his vision and he heard her speak urgently before it danced away and he slipped away, leaving her behind once again.

….


	3. Chapter 3

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face

The kind you'd find on someone that could save

If they don't put me away

Well it'll be a miracle

Jesus Christ by Brand New

…

 _Severus Snape,_

 _We have stumbled across something we think you'd be interested in. At your earliest convenience, please come retrieve it._

 _H. G._

…

It was a miracle, they had said, that she hadn't lost her mind after that night in the manor. It had been hours or an eternity. They had expected her brilliance to be disfigured and unrecognizable to them, a drooling zombie in her place. So when she had immersed herself in her advanced transfiguration book just two days after being under Bellatrix's wand, they had let out a collective gasp of surprise and sigh of relief

This, she decided, was her finally losing her mind

There was no other reason as to why she'd save Draco Malfoy's life

From the corner of the room, she watched the steady rise and fall of his chest. She had fought hard to keep that simple motion going.

It had felt good beating death like that.

Inhale

Exhale

Even if the result was anticlimactic

Hermione adjusted her weight in the chair, the book forgotten on her lap as her eyes flickered to his face. It was still flushed from the fever, sweat sticking his blond hair to his forehead and mouth faintly frowning.

 _Please just kill me_

The request had wrapped around her insides and filled her with icy dread. Once you taste death, you only wish it to come faster.

Finding him on the floor of that cabin had almost brought her to her knees as the memory from the manor flashed before her eyes. It was the last she'd seen of the youngest Malfoy, but you don't forget the face of the person who could've saved you. She had assumed he didn't survive long after Voldemort killed his parents. As much as he seemed the type to run, he didn't seem like the type to survive it.

It had been six months since that news had reached them so he did alright there for a while

All she knew for sure was that Draco Malfoy's wanted poster hung beside her own and she supposed that had to count for something

The door burst open and she was on her feet. She lowered her wand as she caught sight of Snape as he made his way towards his godson

"Out," he ordered without looking at her, pulling vials from his robes.

 _Thank you, Miss Granger, for informing me that my godson was still alive_

 _Oh you're welcome, Professor_

She left without a word, closing the door carefully behind her. The stairs looked suddenly ominous as she realized she would have to discuss their new "guest" with her friends and the Order. She took in a deep breath and walked down, holding her head high like she didn't just bring an ex Death Eater into their home.

Lupin stood by the fireplace, looking solemn as he twirled his drink in his hand, he looked up at her

"You've certainly had an interesting few days."

Harry stood from his place on the couch, looking furious.

"What were you thinking?"

She looked to Ginny, who usually was on her side, and saw that that her lips were pulled in a tight frown. She wasn't going to get her support today. A flare of anger forced her out of her initial hesitation and she stood taller

"Someone's life needed saving so I did what I had to do."

"Don't oversimplify it like that," Harry scoffed

"But it is that simple!"

"Then there's the answer to the first question! You weren't thinking at all!"

Lupin stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder

"Harry, calm down…"

Harry turned away from her and out of Lupin's grasp, running a hand through his unruly hair. She knew he was upset with her for many reasons. One being that she risked her life for him. But he wouldn't get an apology for that.

"We are in the middle of a war and she brings the enemy into our home," Ron said from his spot on the couch.

"He's defected. You know this already," she said, narrowing her eyes at him, hating that he called this place their home and making it sound permanent.

Like the war would never end

"I think he should stay."

The group turned towards Lupin, his skin paler as the full moon drew closer. Hermione watched as Harry, Ron, and Ginny stared at him with disbelief. Harry's face quickly contorted into anger

"What?! Lupin…"

Their old professor slammed his mug on the mantle

"What do you suggest, Harry? Kill him?" Harry looked away, his jaw tightening. As quickly as it came, Lupin's anger left.

He rubbed his tired eyes, "He's defected but he could still be useful. He could have information about their safehouses…"

Harry snorted, "Yeah. Sixth month old information. How useful."

Ron groaned, rubbing his hands over his face, "Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll die anyway."

"I won't let that happen," they looked at her again, anger and resignation clear on their faces. She didn't care, "I'm tired of seeing people die. Tired of hearing their names on the radio. Malfoy is…Malfoy, but if I can save one person, I will. He's a fugitive too. He's one of us."

With a sigh, Ginny motioned towards her, "Well she's got her arms crossed so there's no point in arguing with her."

A smile tugged at the corner of Lupin's mouth, "I'm inclined to agree," Hermione smiled back at him before he continued, "we'll still have to check with the rest of the Weasley's. I better let Tonks know that her cousin has stopped by…"

"Bloody Hell," Ron shook his head, "the next thing you know, she's gonna start a club for him and have us knitting him hats and scarves."

…

Something primal in him told him that he was not alone. He smelled it like blood on the back of his nose. He'd come to rely on that feeling. Everyone had always given his house shit for the whole self-preservation thing, but in a war, it was bloody brilliant.

His muscles coiled and the hair on the back of his neck stood as he felt the person step closer. A few more steps and he could…

"I know you're just pretending to be asleep, Malfoy"

Granger

"Still a know-it-all, I see," he quipped as he heard the legs of a chair scrape across the floor

He heard her sigh and opened his eyes and immediately locked onto hers. For a moment he thought he was descending into the nightmare, but instead of her eyes staring at him in terror, they looked him over with curiosity.

She looked at him like she hadn't been visiting him every night in his horrifying dreams for the past year. For one absurd moment he was almost offended by her lack of reaction.

It was like they were strangers.

He supposed they were because he did not know this girl sitting in front of him

If it weren't for the flash of intelligence in her eyes and the wild curly hair crawling off of her head, he almost wouldn't have recognized her. He must've been staring too long because she blushed

"How's my leg?" he asked, hoping he sounded nonchalant. He at least knew it was still there. It was the first thing he checked when he woke up.

She sat up straighter in her chair, obviously smug that she knew the answer and he fought the urge to roll his eyes

"Almost healed. I say about one more week on your potions regimen and you should be fine."

He felt himself nod in response and hoped she'd take it as a cue to leave.

"You're welcome, you know," he raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes, "for saving your life."

Now he knew it was definitely her

Draco scoffed, "Why would I thank you for doing the exact opposite of what I asked?"

He saw the fury flash in her eyes

"Oh because you extended the same courtesy to me?"

Draco snapped his mouth shut. She looked shocked at her own words and he felt an inexplicable sting

"So this was some revenge thing?" his heart dropped to his stomach and he sneered

Her brow furrowed with confusion, "No it wasn't some…it's not like that at all" she took in a breath and looked away from him. He forced his breathing to remain even in the silent room as he felt himself tense. Her hand went to the left sleeve of her large flannel, remembering the horrible scar underneath

"I don't hold it against you, you know."

Draco felt his mouth go dry and his heart drop into his stomach. A dizzying mix of anger and relief washed over him, effectively rendering him speechless. Because he was the way he was, he snapped

"You getting caught was not my fault. I wasn't the one who tortured you and carved into your arm. If you think I'm carrying around some sort of guilt for not jumping in front of my psycho aunt's wand then you're delusional."

He had wanted his words to hurt her and he waited for her to yell or even better, to say she was wrong and that it was his fault.

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

Exhale

She stood up from her chair, setting a small vial on the table next to him.

"You need to take this for the infection. It should help you sleep too."

She didn't wait to make sure he drank the liquid and left the room, closing the door behind her

Good. He hoped she felt just as miserable as he did

…

A sob tore through her throat as she jerked awake from her nightmare. Next to her, she heard Ginny awake with a start and soon the room was flooded with the light from her wand. Hermione wiped away her tears on her cheeks

"Sorry, Ginny. I forgot to use a silencing charm."

Ginny's frowned deepened and she walked over and sat on the edge of Hermione's bed

"Do you want me to get Harry?" Hermione shook her head and Ginny grimaced, "Or Ron?"

That got a laugh out of her and Ginny pulled her into a hug, gently rubbing her back as a few more tears escaped. The two Weasley women were very different from each other but they both gave the same wonderful hugs

Finally Hermione sat up and sighed. She wasn't getting any sleep tonight. After some insistence, Ginny crawled back into her own bed and Hermione waited until she fell asleep before she got out of her bed and quietly left the room.

She walked down the hallway, carefully avoiding the creaking floorboards and then headed down the stairs. As she walked through the living room, she saw Fred and George sleeping on the couches surrounded by their various modified inventions. She smiled at them fondly, knowing she'd miss them when they'd move out and join Oliver Wood, Alicia Spinnet, and Angelina Johnson at another safehouse.

While Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were at Shell Cottage, Fleur announced her pregnancy and it was decided that they'd move in, leaving Hermione, Ginny, the boys, Remus, Tonks….and Malfoy.

She pushed him out of her mind

The basement stairs creaked under her feet as she walked down them. In the corner of the cellar, violet fumes flooded from her cauldron. She smelled lavender and sage as she checked its color. Satisfied, she walked over to her desk, opened her notes and picked up where she left off

…

Someone was shaking her awake.

"Hermione?"

She lifted her head off the desk and groaned, feeling the knots in her neck. Rubbing her neck, she looked up and saw Harry staring down at her with regret

"What?"

"Malfoy is whining about his leg

She groaned and dropped her head back onto the desk. She felt Harry's hands on her shoulders before he gently began rubbing them.

"Can I say I told you so yet?"

"No"

He snorted and gave her shoulders one more squeeze before letting her go. She lifted her head.

"What if I just cut it off?"

"His leg?" he asked as his eyebrows raised

She looked at him sincerely

"Yes"

Harry laughed and then shook his head

"He'd just find something else to whine about. I'm sure of it."

She considered this for a moment before sighing and standing up to walk over to the cauldron

"You're right," she said as she ladled the purple liquid into a glass.

"Hermione," she looked up to see Harry staring at her seriously, "Let me know if he says or does anything."

She felt a sudden rush of affection for the boy standing in front of her. His glasses mostly hid the dark circles under his eyes, but she knew they were there. They all had them these days. Though he had had them much longer. Harry carried the weight of the world very well for someone as young as they were.

"You don't have to protect me all the time, Harry," she said, only halfway teasing

He rolled his eyes, "That's hilarious coming from you," suddenly he turned serious again, "I'm still upset with you, you know."

Harry cared about people recklessly and while it was one of the many things she loved about him, she couldn't afford to lose him.

No one could

"Hermione Granger can be replaced. Harry Potter, cannot," she pointed out to him and regretted it as soon as she saw the pain in his eyes

"You're irreplaceable to me. Doesn't that count?"

She threw her arms around him and hugged him fiercely. Even though he didn't want her to, she would die for this boy.

She really would

He held her back and they stayed like that for a moment.

To make it simple for others to understand when they asked about their relationship, they would smile and say they were like siblings. Perhaps they only thought this because neither of them had ever had a brother or sister, but their relationship was much more than that. It wasn't blood that brought them together, but choice.

She'd chosen to follow him to the ends of the Earth and he'd chosen her right back

Even though she knew he was madly in love with Ginny and she patiently waited for her own person to come along, they would always have each other

He rested his cheek on her head

"Promise me, that if you have to choose between my life and yours, you will choose you."

"Only if you can promise me the same thing."

He was quiet

See? They would always choose each other.


	4. Chapter 4

Even the sun  
 _(I don't where you come from)_  
Knows where you sleep  
 _(Your sun always stayed down)_  
I wasn't done  
 _(Boy I know that you're shook up)_  
I wasn't beat  
 _(Learn to live it somehow)_

Gun by Mas Ysa

…

Draco laid on his good side facing away from the door. If his leg didn't kill him, the boredom surely would. The potions mostly made him sleep, but every now in then he'd hear Granger come in and set plate of food down for him or a vial medicine with instructions written in her infuriatingly neat handwriting

The condescending bitch

The door creaked open and he heard her come in expecting her usual routine while he did his usual routine of ignoring her.

"We're out of pain potion and its ingredients for now, but I brought," she paused, "an alternative."

He rolled onto his back, wincing in pain. She was wearing that god awful over-sized flannel again and he wondered how many lives were lost in the effort to wrangle her hair into that braid. Their deaths were in vain since several curls had sprung free.

"And what might that be, Granger," he sighed and she held up an orange bottle with a white lid

"Muggle medicine," she replied carefully, watching his face for a reaction, "Oxycodone."

He looked at the bottle with disgust, "No way am I taking that."

She looked at him incredulously.

"Because it's Muggle-made? Don't be ridiculous."

"The last thing I want is to get addicted to their narcotics. I'll pass."

"I wouldn't let you get addicted," she promised, "I'm just trying to…"

Draco could've blamed the pain for his fury, but he knew it was because he was cruel

"I don't want your help or your mud…" her face blanched, "muggle drugs!"

Her face turned red and she stepped towards him. For one moment, he thought she was going to hit him

"Who are you still trying to impress?!" she shouted at him, the gold in her eyes crackling with anger, "You have no one left! They're either dead or want you dead!" He said nothing as her words cut deeper than he ever thought they would. Her eyes filled with angry tears, "I fought for you to stay here! I stuck my neck out for you despite everything!"

 _Despite the fact that you did nothing while I was tortured_

 _Just stood there and watched_

"No one asked you to," he snapped, forcing his hurt into anger. They were all dead. His mother, father, Theo…

Suddenly, her eyes softened and she looked at him with pity, "Why do you insist on being enemies?" he narrowed his eyes at her, "Aren't you tired, Malfoy?"

Of course he was tired. He thought of all the sleepless nights, of how the sounds of her screams never quite left him even during the sunniest days. The one way he could escape from this hellish existence was through sleep and he couldn't

"Get out," he said, turning away from her once again. Draco felt raw, like all his insides had been ripped out. The pain in his leg couldn't rival with this and it was all her fault. He was glad she couldn't see the tears in his eyes

The air in the room was still but he could still feel her eyes on his back. Finally he heard her set the small bottle on the table,

"You'll only need one."

He listened as the floor creaked and the door closed, her steps fading down the hallway and leaving him with the awful pain she caused. The room felt hot from their anger. There was no way he was getting any sleep

She never let him sleep anyways

…

Hermione made it halfway down the stairs before the tears came and she ducked her head as she rushed past the others in living room. Research, she had told them before heading into the basement and shutting the door behind her. She wiped her eyes furiously with her sleeve and cursed herself for being an angry-crier.

Damn him

He could suffer for all she cared.

…

His leg throbbed beneath the blanket where everything was heat and pain. The sheets felt like they were smothering him. Draco cursed loudly and did not give a shit if he woke up the whole house. His hands gripped the sheets tightly as he tried to look for something in the room to distract him from the pain.

Blank wall. Blank wall. Blank wall. Window with the blinds closed. Orange pill bottle.

Draco stopped and stared intently at the orange pill bottle

"Goddammit," he cursed as he grabbed it from the table. Hermione Granger, the label read.

"'You'll only need one'" he mocked as he dropped two into his hand, "Fuck you, Granger."

He tossed them back and washed them down with the glass of water that had sat next to the pills. Desperate times call for desperate measures, he assured himself as he laid back.

They probably weren't going to work anyway

 _Stupid muggles_

…

She stared up at the ceiling as she laid awake in her bed. Across the room, Ginny slept soundly and Hermione envied her ability to sleep through the noise. Through the paper thin walls, she could hear the springs in Malfoy's squeak as he tossed and turned. She put a pillow over her head and wondered if she could charm it so it would smother her.

He cursed loudly and Hermione knew it was from the pain

Good, she thought, that's what he gets for being a prejudice asshole

Teaching him a lesson, however, was not conducive to getting sleep.

Minutes passed and she noticed that he had gone quiet. Several more minutes passed and she noticed that he stayed quiet.

It was concerning to say the least.

Should I check on him? No, she told herself, if he's dead then he's dead

Satisfied, she turned onto her side and faced the wall.

More time passed and she had yet to close her eyes, biting her lip in thought

Then again, she reasoned, she had gone through all that trouble to keep him alive

Hermione got up from bed and snuck out of the room, silently shutting the door behind her. She quietly opened his door and stepped in before closing it silently behind her. What the hell was she doing here? If he was really asleep then sure, no harm done. But what exactly was her plan if he was awake? Rock him back to sleep?

Not bloody likely, she thought as she crept closer.

There was an oppressive weight to the air in his room. Sadness, she thought. She felt like she was wading through it.

He made an unintelligible noise and she paused

"Malfoy," she began quietly, "Are you awake?"

He stirred, tangled in his sheets, but he didn't wake. She looked towards the side table and smirked at the lid sitting beside the orange bottle. He must've caved. She reached for the bottle and gasped when his hand reached out and grabbed hers. She heard him inhale sharply and she froze as his thumb grazed gently over her knuckles and with one quick tug, he pulled her into sitting on the bed.

"Let go," she ordered, trying to twist her wrist from his grasp. The dark mark stared up at her, watching her struggle and she felt the panic begin to set in

"Don't leave me"

She stopped her struggling, her heart pounding loudly in her chest as she watched him lift her hand to his cheek. His face was still feverish under her palm and she watched him close his eyes and sigh. Minutes ticked by as she sat awkwardly on the edge of his bed with her hand pressed to his face by his hand.

She really had no idea how to handle this situation.

"I don't want to be alone," he slurred and Hermione's heart clenched. She thought back to when she found him on the floor of that desolate cottage. The lost look his eyes.

She swallowed,

"Okay."

He reached up his hand and she froze as he ran his fingertips down her cheek with a gentleness she never would've guessed he had.

"I'm sorry," he breathed, his hand resting on her cheek "But I couldn't kill you."

He's high, she told herself but his apology had already crawled its way through her.

"It's okay," she said quietly

His fingers curled behind her head and the other hand wrapped around her bicep, pulling her close enough to see the desperation in his eyes. She tried to shove him away but it was useless. He had the grip of a drowning man

"Please," his voice broke as his fingers tugged painfully at her scalp. Her wide eyes stared back at him "just let me sleep."

"Close your eyes," her voice shook as she untangled his hand from her hair and pulled slowly away from him. His other hand still gripped her arm painfully as he watched her with fearful eyes and she continued, "I won't leave. Just close them."

He released her arm and she contemplated running from the room, but her legs wouldn't move

She sat up slowly on the edge of his bed, unsure of what to do next. When he opened one eye to see if she was still there, she chuckled quietly and her heart no longer felt like it was stuck in her throat.

"Both eyes, Malfoy."

He squeezed them tightly shut, his face twisted in effort

"Is this good?"

It was hard to believe this was the same man from moments ago

She fought her laughter,

"Brilliant. Maybe relax a little though."

His face relaxed only slightly and she sighed

Instinctively, her hand reached out and ran her fingers through his hair. For one moment, she considered pulling her hand away, but she saw his features begin to relax and his breathing beginning to slow. When the boys couldn't sleep, she would run her fingers through their hair, but she never imagined soothing Malfoy.

In that moment, she felt an inexplicable tenderness towards him

 _You fucking git_ , she thought as she watched his sleeping face, his pale hair slipping through her fingers

" _You have no one left! They're either dead or want you dead!"_

The words had left her before she could stop them. She had seen the piercing hurt in his eyes and immediately felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to take back the cruel words but they both knew they were true. She always had been good at recalling facts, she thought miserably.

Hermione slowly stood from the bed, careful not to wake him. She grabbed the pill bottle and slipped out into the hallway. She walked back into her room and climbed into her bed

She grabbed her wand and the book beside her bed before throwing her blanket over head. She lit the stifling dome and leaned against the headboard. Under here, she thought, she could pretend like she was back at Hogwarts with Lavender Brown snoring beside her instead of lying silent under the dirt.

…

He remembered everything.

His hand had reached towards the edge of his bed and grasped the empty air. An intense feeling of mortification had forced his eyes open and it took only seconds for his brain to catch up.

His hands on her; rough and pleading

Her hands on him; gentle and forgiving

He could die from the embarrassment.

" _Please…kill me…"_

…

 _A thousand hands desperately pulled at her, tangled in her hair and clothes. It was Harry, Ron, and Ginny, Neville and Dumbledore. It was her parents. It was the dead._

 _They pulled her under the salty waves_

 _I'm sorry, she had sobbed as she broke the surface. I'm trying._

 _Draco Malfoy stood on the marble shore, watching them drag her down. A crystal chandelier hung in the sky_

 _Help me, she had begged._

 _Sorrow filled his eyes and he said nothing_

 _Just stood there and watched_

 _A hand grabbed her shoulder and held her under_

Hermione jerked awake and her head collided into another skull.

"Fuck," Ron swore as he rubbed his forehead, "that hurt."

"Ron," she groaned, holding her head in her hands as it throbbed, "what are you doing in my room?"

He stopped rubbing his head and looked up at her with a frown

"It sounded like you were having a bad dream."

"Oh," she said as she untangled herself from her sheets and stood up, avoiding his gaze. She rubbed at her wrist where Malfoy had grabbed her and pulled her into his loneliness, "Yes, well…it was just a dream."

"Yeah"

Hermione looked back at him and found him still staring. A frown looked unnatural on Ron Weasley's face even though she had seen more and more of it. She turned her mouth into a smile,

"Breakfast then?"

He paused for a moment before he smirked back at her and stood from her bed. They walked down the hallway and she avoided looking at the door at the end of the hall.

They passed Lupin's door and she frowned, knowing the full moon was drawing closer. She heard Tonks' voice on the other side of the door talking quietly and she was glad he had some company.

When they got to the kitchen, Ginny gave her an apologetic look before handing her a bowl of something Hermione thought was supposed to be oatmeal. Meals had become exponentially less appealing without Mrs. Weasley there every morning. She dutifully took a bite of the slop and swallowed

Harry watched the offending mush fall from his spoon and back into the bowl.

"Um…thanks, Ginny."

Ron sat down his spoon indignantly

"Gin, this is offensive."

"Then make your own bloody breakfast," she snapped before taking her own bite. It wasn't too bad. It just lacked flavor, "I saved a bowl for Malfoy."

She felt herself still at his name, remembering his crushing grip and loneliness. She pushed around her food with her spoon

"Oh…good."

"Something wrong?" Harry asked from across the table

She debated telling them about last night, but it felt too private. It had uprooted their past and laid it out for the two of them.

 _I couldn't kill you_

"Nope. Just couldn't sleep."

She finished her last bite and put the bowl in the sink before grabbing Malfoy's breakfast and his healing potions. Her heart fluttered nervously as she climbed the stairs.

The urge to turn and run hit her when she put her hand on the door knob.

Some Gryffindor she was

She took a breath and opened the door. Immediately her eyes fell on Malfoy pretending to be asleep on the bed.

If that was an indication of anything, last night was something that they were not going to talk about

She sat the bowl on the side table and bit her lip nervously. The desire to say something was overwhelming

…

Draco had waited for the sound of their laughter. Surely Granger would have told them about last night, reveling in his humiliation. When it never came, he was immensely relieved and surprised. It would have been the perfect opportunity to share what he had said and done the night before. It would have been expected.

But she had kept it locked away from her friends. A secret for just the two of them.

He wasn't sure what to make of that

When he heard her opening the door, he shut his eyes. She seemed like the type to want to talk things over and he absolutely refused to do that.

"You're pretending to be asleep again, aren't you?"

"Go away, Granger. I'm sleeping."

She made an amused sound and he heard her drag a chair over to the side of his bed. This is it, he thought, she was going to make him talk about his feelings. He felt the weight in his chest beginning to crush him

"Don't," he snapped, "For the love of Salazar, can we just pretend like last night never happened?"

"Why? What happened last night?"

He looked up and saw her trying to pull a stopper from a vial, her face twisted in concentration. For a brief moment, he thought that it really had been a dream.

"Drink this," she ordered, holding the potion out for him. Her sleeve slipped back, revealing dark purple bruises around her wrist. He reached out and quickly took it from her. She pulled down her sleeve, hiding the bruises.

Not a dream then. The potion seemed to slide down slowly as his throat constricted

"I brought you breakfast"

He looked over at the grayish mush with distaste

"What happened to it?"

Hermione laughed and he felt it down to his toes like a jolt of energy.

"Awful, isn't it? Molly left so this is what we have to look forward to."

He had heard them pack up and leave. The twins must've left too since he noticed the house had been a lot quieter lately. They had existed a lot louder than most people.

He took a bite of the oatmeal and was almost grateful for the lack of taste. His stomach still churned unpleasantly as he thought of the evidence of his shame blossoming on her pale skin.

"How's the pain?"

He felt it creep to the surface, no longer pacified by drugs or potions.

"On a scale from one to getting maimed by a hippogriff," she added with a sly smile.

He snorted, "Right now? Getting punched by a bookworm."

Another jolt went through him as she laughed and he felt the weight in his chest crumble into something less demanding.

"That bad?" she asked with feigned concern

"You broke my nose! You practically deformed me," he said indignantly.

Suddenly she was leaning in close enough for him to see the freckles on her nose. She looked at his face with intense concentration and he held his breath.

"It looks fine to me, you big baby."

Finally he swatted her away and she leaned back, smiling slightly. The subtle pain in his chest subsided as he felt the air return to his lungs

"If you had the eye for detail, you'd be able to see it," he sniffed.

He was not a baby.

It was crooked.

An amused smiled appeared on her face as she opened another potion

"I'm honestly surprised I didn't punch you sooner, Malfoy"

She's a violent lunatic, he thought as he stared at her smug expression

"You're unhinged," he snapped as he tore the vial from her hand and drank it.

"You're easy to pick on," she said back obviously pleased with herself

He rolled his eyes, "Funny coming from you, beaver girl"

Got you there, Granger, he thought smugly as he watched her face turn red.

She scowled at another vial as she tried to pry it open with no luck

"Perhaps," he offered, pointing at his own mouth, "you could use your teeth…"

It finally opened and she practically shoved it towards him as he laughed.

"They aren't even that big anymore," she mumbled, crossing her arms

His face hurt from smiling.

If he didn't think too hard, he could pretend they were back at Hogwarts

This was the best he had felt in a long time.

"Doesn't matter," he said before knocking back the potion, "they are ingrained in my mind forever."

She rolled her eyes and pointed at his leg, "I have to change the bandage," he opened his mouth to speak, but she shot him a silencing look, "so put a pause on you being a bastard for one minute so I can concentrate."

She moved to the other side of the bed with a handful of vials and he felt a wave of self-consciousness as she pulled back the sheet. He was aware that he wasn't as attractive as he used to be. Months on the run with little food had made him gaunt and gangly. He found himself torn between wanting to watch her expression when she saw and wanting to look away.

He watched her face carefully, flickering from her eyes to her lips. An insult sat on the tip of his tongue waiting for the first sign of disgust.

Instead her eyes remained calm and focused as she gently removed the old bandage and checked the wound underneath. The skin was puckered and shiny and definitely ugly. She added a drop of potion on the monstrosity and he hissed in pain. She didn't look the least apologetic

"Who did it?" she asked as she used a cloth to clean the area

"Dolohov," he said through gritted teeth as the potion stung his skin

She glanced up at him before continuing her task

"He throws some nasty curses. I got a scar myself from one of his."

The stinging began to fade and the words fell from his mouth

"What happened?"

She paused her work and looked at him thoughtfully for a moment.

"Department of Mysteries. Fifth year."

Fifth year. She had been a child.

He stiffly nodded and chose to look at the wall ahead as she quietly worked. Minutes passed and his leg was wrapped,

"There," she said as she finished the wrapping. When she saw his face, she frowned, "Too tight?"

"It's fine," he answered quietly. Her hand went to his forehead and he felt himself lean into her cool touch.

Draco thought of the many times he had laid on the dining room floor on hot summer days, his cheek pressed to the cold white marble. It had been one of his favorite places in the manor. He would close his eyes and imagine a vast tundra laid out before him, his breath coming in small clouds.

"You're still a little feverish," she said before gently brushing his hair from his forehead and he felt another wave of relief from the heat

He wondered if the skin under her woolen jumper felt just as nice. He remembered just barely running his fingers down her cheek,

 _I couldn't kill you_

A dark pool of blood swelled across the white marble and he no longer had a favorite place.

She blushed as she felt him go still beneath her hand and pulled away. When her touch left, he immediately felt an acute sense of loss. He swallowed it down, but it left an ache deep in his chest

She stood up and cleared the empty glass vials from the side table, "I'll bring you up some lunch later. Can I get you anything? A book?"

"Sure," he was too distracted by the loss of her touch to even appreciate that she was acting as his personal house elf, "A book is fine."

With a quick nod, she began to leave the room and panic gripped him

 _Don't leave me_

He had to say something before he lost his nerve.

"Granger," she turned to look at him and he felt the words threatening to fall from his mouth. The muggle drugs must've caused some sort of brain damage, "I meant it."

Draco had forced his vulnerability on her yet again

He watched her inhale sharply and waited for her to tell him that he didn't mean it. She said it was okay, he thought desperately. Last night she said…Her eyes flickered over his face, looking for something.

Say something, he mentally urged her, don't just…

 _Don't just stand there and watch_

He felt more naked than when she had pulled back the sheet. This was worse, he decided, than waking up and remembering last night.

She nodded.

With that small movement, he felt the heaviness of his guilt become less stifling and the air in the room become more breathable. He saw in her eyes that she believed him

"I meant it too."

She left the room as his lungs acclimated to this new air

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

Exhale

Was his heart beating faster? Louder?

The blackness in his chest was still there, wrapped around his heart and lungs; a reminder of the things he had done

And the things he had failed to do

 _I meant it too_

Perhaps it was not as permanent as he had thought it was. Maybe he felt slightly grateful towards her for showing him that.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing this story! It's so fun to read each of your comments! Enjoy!

Much love

BBS

* * *

At night I trip without you, and hope I don't wake up  
'Cause waking up without you is like drinking from an empty cup

Animals Were Gone by Damien Rice

...

She stirred awake, opening her eyes to see a candle flickering near her, the wax forming a small puddle on the basement floor. Books were spread out on the floor of the barely lit room and she knew she must've fell asleep down there once again. Harry is going to kill me, she thought as she rubbed the red imprint on her cheek left from the book she had fell asleep on.

Immediately, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand and her wand was out

Harry looked back at her.

Hermione lowered her wand and exhaled her relief,

"Merlin, Harry. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

She couldn't see his eyes but she knew he was angry with her. It practically radiated from him. She felt her face go red.

"What are you doing?"

She grimaced at his tone, attempting to run a hand through her hair before it was caught in her tangled curls

"I'm sorry, Harry. I must've fallen asleep while researching. I know that…"

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

She felt as if he had slapped her. He had never spoken to her like that before. The pure disgust in his words sent her heart plummeting

"W-What?"

He stepped towards her into the candlelight

"There are people out there dying and you're down here doing nothing," she felt the tears spring to her eyes, "When is the last time you actually did something useful?"

"Harry…I'm trying," she tried to muster the anger she needed to defend herself, but her voice was quiet and broken as she looked at her best friend

He scoffed, stepping towards her again, only this time she stepped back

"What's the point of keeping you around then?"

She stumbled back as if he physically wounded her and her foot caught on a pile of books and she fell to the ground. Harry towered over her, blurring as tears filled her eyes and fell down her cheeks

"If you're so _brilliant_ ," his sneered the word and it scalded her, "then why are we in the same exact place we were a year ago?"

"Harry, please…" her back pressed against the cement wall

He crouched beside her and for a moment, she thought he was going to hold her, wrap her in his usual comfort. His voice was barely a whisper as she let him take her wand from her hand and set it behind him

"Sometimes I wonder, Hermione," he gently tucked a curl behind her ear and she closed her eyes, the tender gesture contradicting his cruel words, "If we should've just left you at that manor," a sob tore through her throat, a pain worse than any curse coursing through her, "since you just keep failing us."

She let out an anguished sob

His thumb wiped away a tear, "Not smart enough. Not brave enough-"

"Stop. Please, Harry," she pleaded, gripping his arm

Put her under Bellatrix's wand again. Anything but this heart-shattering pain.

"Just a worthless Mudblood," his hand moved down her face and wrapped around her neck. Her eyes widened as he tightened its grip and she was slammed into the wall behind her

Hermione clawed at the hands around her neck, but Harry remained unfazed by her struggle. One look into his eyes and she knew the thing in front of her was not Harry at all

The locket, she thought as he crushed her throat. Black dots clouded her vision and she felt herself fading

 _Stupefy!_

She dropped to the floor gasping for air as the creature was knocked from her, disappearing into a cloud of black smoke. Her struggle for air quickly turned into sobs and she felt a pair of arms pull her towards a warm body.

Harry

His hand cradled the back of her head, holding her close to his chest as she sobbed, gripping to him tightly.

"You're safe. You're okay. I'm here."

Finally she forced herself to look at his face which was full of concern and fear and relief and not at all the hatred she had seen

"Harry?"

He nodded and brushed a piece of hair from her face

"Hermione, are you alright?"

Ron's voice startled her as he crouched beside them, setting a hand on her shoulder. Their tenderness had her crying again, unable to look into the eyes of the two people she loved the most

"I'm sorry. I swear I'm trying. I'm just not good enough. I'm just a stupid Mudblood."

"Hey hey hey," Harry grabbed her face gently, forcing her to look back at him. His brow furrowed, "where is this coming from?"

"The horcrux…" she whispered, eyeing the box on her desk

Harry paled considerably

"Was that me? Hurting you?"

She nodded and was pulled back into his embrace

"Hermione, I would never say those things to you. You know that, right? You're brilliant and we never would've made it this far without you."

"So you don't regret not leaving me behind at the manor?"

As she said it, she knew it was a silly question, but the answer felt so imperative to her sanity

She felt him still before pulling her closer.

They didn't talk about that night where they had to listen helplessly to her screams from the dungeons. When they finally got her back, she shook in their arms, her blood staining their clothes. Moody* had forced her to her feet and held her at wandpoint, demanding her to tell them what secrets she had given up.

They remembered the haunted look in her eyes as she answered

 _Nothing_

Bill Weasley broke Moody's jaw that night

"God," he sounded like he was in pain, "Hermione, no. I only regret you having to go through that. That night…we almost lost you"

They fell silent as she listened to his heartbeat in his chest.

"What I don't understand," Ron started, "Is why the horcrux attacked you."

Hermione's brow furrowed at that and Harry's chest rumbled against her ear as he spoke

"I'm confused as well. I thought they only attacked when they were being threatened?"

The realization hit her suddenly and her eyes widened, "Maybe it was threatened."

She shot out of Harry's grasp and grabbed the book she had shamelessly used as a pillow, scanning the page.

Fiendfyre,

She jumped to her feet, her eyes glued to the page as she spoke

"I was reading this section on Fiendfyre when I fell asleep…"

Harry and Ron crowded around her to look at the page. Her hand shook as she ran her finger across the page

" _Fiendfyre will stop at nothing to destroy the things around it…"_ she looked up at them with a grin, "this could be it," Harry gripped her shoulders, excitement and hope swimming in his green eyes before planting a kiss on her forehead

"You're brilliant, Hermione!"

Her face flushed with pride

"It could be why the horcrux attacked me!" As if someone pulled the reigns back on her racing excitement, she paused, her voice becoming quiet, "Emphasis on the word _could…"_

After seeing the hope in their eyes and feeling it in her heart, she'd hate if she ended up being wrong. They waved her off and she bit back any more attempts to keep them from getting their hopes up, not wanting to spoil the good mood

"… _you just keep failing us"_

"Well what's the spell?" Ron asked from over her shoulder, forcing her from her thoughts. He would've ripped the book from her grasp to look for himself but he wasn't interested in having his hands hexed off.

The information she read last night came back to her and she felt her heart drop into her stomach

"Fiendfyre is…incredibly difficult to control," she started carefully, staring at the illustration of the fiery beasts snarling up at her, "Without complete mastery of the spell, death is almost certain."

Harry's brow furrowed before turning away from them. Ron shuffled for a moment before he moved in front of her, refusing to be discouraged by the new information. He dipped his head low to catch her gaze

"But you could do it, Hermione. If anyone…" he trailed off when he saw her grimace

Her voice was quiet, "Where exactly should I practice a spell like this? It's not something you can just pick up from reading books…"

They jumped at the sound of metal loudly hitting the wall. They turned to find Harry running his hands through his hair, the horcrux's box lying across the room

"This is useless," he said tiredly

" _When is the last time you actually did something useful?"_

Hermione reached for him, wishing she had kept her mouth closed and let him hope. She wanted so badly to give him good news.

"Harry…I'll keep looking. I-I'll see if I can find more about it. We can ask other members of the Order if they can control it…"

The desperation in her voice made him look towards her and Ron. His eyes softened, exhaling slowly before stepping back towards them

"You're right. I'm just…" he shook his head, "We should get some sleep. Including you Hermione," he added as she bit her lip, staring at a pile of books,

"That…thing attacked you. There's no way in Hell we are letting you stay down here."

Her hand went to her neck and Harry's eyes followed the movement, his eyes darkening. She nodded and opted not to argue

"We'll start again tomorrow then"

They made their way up the stairs carefully, wincing as they creaked loudly under their weight. It was a full moon tonight so Lupin was…out but Tonks and Ginny waited for them in the kitchen, giving them small tired smiles as their shoulders slumped with relief.

She dragged herself to her room, filling Ginny in on what happened between yawns. Hermione glanced towards Malfoy's room, wondering if he had woken up during the commotion. She fell into bed, listening for any tossing or turning on the other side of the wall. When she heard none, she closed her eyes.

Knock. Knock.

Her brow furrowed and she turned towards the thin wall that separated her from Malfoy. Had he just knocked on her wall? She raised her knuckles and tapped back lightly

Knock. Knock. Knock.

She waited and listened but no more knocks came from his side. She turned away from the wall and drifted to sleep.

Her dreams were full of snarling flames, devouring everything and all she could do was stand there and watch

…

Shouts from the hallway had startled him awake. His heart pounded wildly as he searched the dark room for a weapon.

They still had his bloody wand

Potter's shout was muffled but the panic in his voice froze his insides

"Something's wrong!"

"Harry, how do you know?"

Weasley

Were they being attacked?

He sat up in his bed, wondering if he'd be able to escape on his leg. Would they leave him behind?

 _I won't leave you, Malfoy_

Where was Granger?

"I had a dream…"

Draco rolled his eyes. Potter and his dreams

He heard the door next to his burst open and expected it to be her, waiting to hear her know-it-all voice

"Hermione's not in her room…"

That answered exactly one of his million questions

He felt himself tense as he strained to listen, but it was only followed by the sound of feet stampeding down the stairs and he was sure the whole house was shaking.

Then Draco found himself surrounded by only the sounds of his breathing

Had something happened to her? The idea of her being gone filled him with dread.

She kept him alive

If she was dead…what then?

It felt like hours he had sat wide awake in bed just listening. There were no sounds of screams or furniture breaking. No curses being yelled. No bodies hitting the floor.

It was silent

Finally he heard people coming up the stairs, almost leisurely. He heard a tired voice speaking

Granger

He exhaled and sunk back into his pillows, hearing other voices join in. The relief was dizzying. He closed his eyes, leaning against the headboard and listened as her bed squeaked as she settled into it.

When he had still lived at the manor, it was Theo that had lived in the room next to him.

 _Run, Draco! Go!_

Draco swallowed back the pain that came with thinking of his friend.

When one came back from a mission, it was always the same. Two knocks on the wall to check in and three knocks to answer.

 _Are you alive?_

 _Yep_

Perhaps it was this memory that compelled him to reach back and tap his knuckles on the wall behind him

Knock. Knock.

He settled down into bed, his eyes fluttering close as the adrenaline left him

Knock. Knock. Knock.

…

Severus Snape stood before her in the field, his dark robes standing out in the empty landscape. Her wand was pointed towards him.

"What," she started with a smirk, "was the name you used in your potion's book?

He scowled at her, "Half-Blood Prince"

She pocketed her wand and stepped towards him, "Nice to see you, Professor."

He just glared at her as he grabbed her elbow more rough than necessary and she disapparated with him.

They landed on the front door and he shoved a bag into her hands without a word before heading up the stairs.

Lupin smiled at her from the couch, holding a book in his hand that she recognized from her discarded stack in the basement

"He's in a good mood."

"Only because he was greeted by his favorite student," she said as she plopped down beside him and started looking through the bag of ingredients he gave her.

"Thought that was Harry?"

"You're right," she said as she laid out the ingredients on the table before her, "I could hardly reach that level of love. It's borderline inappropriate."

Lupin barked out a laugh and she flashed a grin at him, feeling almost guilty for speaking ill of her old professor.

Almost

Pleased with the new additions, she grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled out a list of the potions she wanted to make. She needed to take a break reading about fiendfyre. Practically all her books said the same thing

Uncontrollable. Deadly. Hopeless

A hand on her shoulder tore her from her thoughts

"I heard about last night…" Lupin stared at her earnestly and she visibly winced

"I live with a bunch of gossips," she grumbled. She traced over the words on her paper, trying to look unbothered and busy but failing miserably

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm fine," she said, shrugging, "I've been through worse."

"I know," She watched as his gaze flickered to her arm, his eyes darkening when he spotted the final few letters of the slur creeping from her sleeve. She tugged her sleeve down quickly and his eyes returned to her face, his expression softening, "just let me know if you change your mind."

"Will do. Thank you, Lupin" she gave him a reassuring smile and he squeezed her shoulder gently before returning to his book. Underneath his exhaustion, she knew was a powerful wizard. He was also one of the people she trusted the most

She bit her lip, hesitant to interrupt someone while they were reading.

"Lupin," he looked up at her again, "Do you know of a way to control fiendfyre?"

He looked momentarily surprised at her question but then shook his head,

"That's almost impossible, Hermione."

…

His back was to his door once more. If Granger came in, he decided, he would not engage with her. He knew she would hate it too. It would serve her right for being friends with the type of people who would leave a crippled man to die at the hands of his ex-coworkers.

Even though he probably would've done the same

That was beside the point. They were supposed to be the good guys

He heard the door open and didn't move, pretending to be asleep

"I know you're not actually asleep."

The sound of his godfather's voice knocked the air from his lungs

He turned slowly to face Severus Snape who stared back at him devoid of expression. He wore his Death Eater robes

"How did you get in here?"

"Miss Granger," he said as if it explained everything

He couldn't help but wonder if Snape had killed her. Held her at wandpoint until she let him in.

No

That wouldn't have happened

She had been tortured for hours and gave up nothing. He imagined her glaring at their old professor, her chin held up in defiance.

The foolish girl

It was exactly something she'd do

Perhaps he was hallucinating this whole encounter

"Have you completely forgotten to close your mind?" the hallucination sneered at him, "You're not hallucinating, you stupid boy."

Sounds like something a hallucination would say, he thought only to have his godfather walk up to him and slap the back of his head

"What the-?"

So it actually was Severus Snape. Somehow he was more confused

"What happened to the others downstairs?" he asked, rubbing the back of his head

Again, Granger's look of defiance popped into his mind. Get out of here, he thought with irritation as he shooed her away

"She's downstairs," he looked at him pointedly, "Alive and insufferable as usual."

Draco scowled, embarrassed that he had caught him thinking about the witch. It was just bad timing. It wasn't his fault she was the only person he saw

"Get out of my mind"

"Keep me out"

"Why aren't you tied to a chair downstairs being drowned in Veritaserum?"

Snape was quiet for a moment before he finally answered

"Because I am part of the Order"

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Snape had been a spy for them all along, acting as the Dark Lord's loyal follower and then leaking the information to the Order. He felt an unexpected flare of anger as he thought of every conversation he had with Snape. Were none of them genuine? Was it an act to get information from him?

"You are being exceptionally daft today"

He scowled, knowing he had dug through his thoughts again

"Well excuse me for being a little confused about the situation. I should've realized that you have been betraying my parents this entire time!"

Snape grabbed the front of his shirt, unbridled fury in his black eyes.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Draco glared back at him as he spoke, "I have and always will remain loyal to your parents"

Draco felt the world fall away from him and he was forced back into the night he escaped from the manor. The tight rope feeling in his stomach and wildly beating heart

One of them had made a sound.

He locked eyes with Snape across the corridor and his stomach dropped

Theo inhaled sharply

They were caught

They were dead

 _Did you find something, Snape?_

Rowle

His gaze left them

 _No. Nothing at all._

He had almost collapsed in relief as the two men disappeared down the corridor

Draco emerged from the memory as Snape's fist unclenched his shirt and shoved him away. Beads of sweat clung to his skin as his mind raced.

Snape had seen him that night across the corridor and had let them go

He felt lightheaded

"I promised your mother I'd look after you," the anger was gone from his voice and Draco did him the courtesy of not looking at his anguished expression

He wouldn't want him to see that

Instead, he stared straight ahead and tried not to think about his mother's lifeless eyes staring up at him

 _Don't cry, my star_

"I think," he swallowed back the million questions he had, surprised they weren't caught in his throat "I'm due for my potions."

Snape paused for a moment and then nodded, "I should be leaving."

Draco said nothing as Severus Snape stood from Granger's chair and left

…

Snape stormed past her in the hallway was never one to linger but Hermione noticed a certain desperation in his departure. His face betrayed nothing but it was set in his shoulder and in his stride. She tore her gaze from him as he escaped down the stairs and looked at the door in front of her

She wondered what was going through Malfoy's mind. She had wanted to tell him the truth about Snape but she was ordered not to.

 _It's not your business to tell, Miss Granger_

She wondered if he would feel less alone knowing Snape wasn't loyal to the Dark Lord. Surely being in a house full of former enemies was isolating

Hermione frowned and pushed the door open.

Malfoy sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She heard the tremor in his voice like thunder rolling in before the storm. A shiver went down her spine

"I wanted to" she said honestly, feeling as though she was trying to convince a snake not to strike. He lifted his head up and looked at her as if he was trying to decide whether or not she was telling the truth, "He wanted to tell you himself."

He seemed to be thinking about this as she sat in her chair and picked up the first vial. She removed the cork and handed it to him. He looked down at it and grabbed it from her

"I can't believe I didn't see," she watched him as he tossed it back, "He's my fucking godfather and I didn't notice."

"To be fair," she started carefully, "he is very good at what he does."

Malfoy ran a hand over his face and snorted

"So good that he killed Dumbledore to keep up appearances."

Thinking about Albus Dumblefore made her heart hurt.

She tried to muster up some righteous indignation for her dead headmaster, felt like she was supposed to. He had long fallen from his pedestal. It was her own fault for putting him up there.

She could only think of how he had kept Harry in the dark for so long

She could hear Harry now

 _He had his reasons, Hermione_

Whatever, she thought bitterly, thanks for the bloody fairytale book then

She just hummed in agreement and handed him his breakfast of fried potatoes and scrambled eggs. Malfoy wolfed it down just as the rest of them had. It had been one of their better meals in a while

His eyes flickered to her neck and he set his plate to the side

"Who tried to choke you out, Granger?"

Her fingers went to the bruises and she mentally cursed herself for not using a glamour charm.

"It's taken care of," she said as he narrowed his eyes at her

"Granger," his gray eyes regarded her seriously, "I could really use some honesty right now"

Her guilt felt heavy on her shoulders as she thought of how she had played a hand in the deception. Harry and Ron would be furious if they found out she had told Malfoy about the horcruxes. They weren't entirely sure they could trust him not to go running back to Voldemort with the information

"It was a cursed object," she started carefully, "It attacked me last night."

There, she thought, that wasn't a lie

He looked momentarily startled, but quickly recovered, smirking

"And Potter came to your rescue."

She thought of the crushing grip of the horcrux as it ruined Harry's kind eyes with hatred

"Sorry they woke you up," she said, ignoring the jibe, "Harry and Ron tend to be very loud when saving people."

Malfoy snorted before settling himself back onto the bed with no small amount of effort. She briefly thought about helping him but had a feeling it wouldn't go over well.

He leaned back against the pillows

"Just out of curiosity," he started with a smirk, "who would bring me breakfast if you died?"

The question made her laugh and his smirk turned into a smile

"Well you should be up and walking any day now but I suppose Harry or Ron would take over," she smirked back as his face twisted with displeasure, "Don't worry, Malfoy. If something happens to me, the others wouldn't just let you die."

"I find that hard to believe since they left me up here last night."

He refused to look at her and her brow furrowed as she realized that behind his cold retort, he was genuinely unnerved by the thought. Before she could stop herself, she grabbed his hand

"I promise they would've come back for you," he looked like he was about to argue, but she stopped him "No listen. You're one of us now and we never leave each other behind. Even if things seemed hopeless," she thought of Harry and Ron picking her off the floor the manor

 _You came back for me_

"We'd always come back for you."

His eyes flickered to their hands and she pulled away, her face reddening. She couldn't remember what she usually did with her hands when she wasn't using them

"Well," he started, looking unaffected, "if that's not the most Gryffindor thing I've ever heard…"

She felt a pang of disappointment and immediately felt embarrassed for getting emotional in front of him. She became aware of how long she had sat with him with no good reason and she blushed harder

Hermione stood from her chair, wiping invisible lint from her clothes to avoid letting him see her face

"Yeah well… that's just how we do things."

She grabbed the empty tray and walked towards the door

"Granger…" she heard but she kept walking, closing the door behind her

….

Granger had done something to his hand.

He looked at his palm, running his thumb over the lines there

She had gone and put her bloody fingerprints all over it and now it felt like she lingered there, woven through his fingers

 _We never leave each other behind_

He had pictured Theo running behind him

 _Run, Draco! Go!_

He had listened

He didn't go back for Theo

Just kept running

What did you expect me to do? He thought towards her with frustration, picturing the disappointment he had seen in her eyes

The stupid girl would've turned back for Theo and would've died just as horribly.

 _Yeah well…that's not how I do things_

Draco stared at his hand again and frowned.

Still no sign of whatever she had done to it

But it was there

He could feel it

* * *

A/N

*Moody was alive during this time because I say so and I wanted one of the Weasley's to punch him in the face.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey!

It's finally spring and my heart is happy. Thank you all for following this story and to the reviewers. A couple of you actually thanked me for the update and it made me weirdly emotional in the best way. It was just the sweetest thing. Also thanks to those who supported the punching of Moody in the face. He reappears in this chapter and is just as punch-able. This chapter sucked the life out of me but I'm pretty happy with it so I hope you all enjoy as well

PS don't know how many of you follow the songs at the beginning of each chapter but this one is from Swiss Army Man which Co-Stars Daniel Radcliffe and it is amazing.

Much love

BBS

…

Heartless,  
How were you heartless?  
I saw your sadness,  
And made it my own.

River Rocket by Andy Hull & Robert McDowell feat. Paul Dano & Daniel Radcliffe

…

Surrounded by Order members, Hermione struggled to sit still. She felt like she had too much coffee despite the fact that she hadn't had a cup in months. Every part of her body thrummed with nervous energy. At least she hid her impatience better than Harry. Next to her, his leg bounced under the table, his jaw clenching and unclenching as the older members discussed loyalty developments and food rations.

She set a hand on his knee and gave it a squeeze, shooting him a look. He quickly glanced at her before glaring at his hands on the table.

It had been too long since something had been done. The lack of action had begun to feel less and less like strategy and more like they were hiding from the war.

She needed to move

She needed to fight

She need to chill the fuck out

She heard a creak upstairs and her eyes looked towards the ceiling. She understood why the others hadn't wanted him at the Order meeting. She hadn't fought the decision. It's not like he had asked to be there when she had told him.

He had simply shrugged and returned to his book

A loud exclamation from Tonks pulled her attention back to the group and she found Moody staring at her, his eye roving over her suspiciously. She stared back defiantly while he narrowed his eyes and scowled

"What're you going to do about the Death Eater upstairs?," Moody asked gruffly, his eye whirling towards Malfoy's room above them while the other stayed focused on her. Her hands clenched into fists under the table.

She wanted to hit him.

 _So much for chilling out_

"I'm not sure what you mean. Since there's not a Death Eater upstairs."

He slammed a fist on the table and she felt Harry tense beside her, reaching for his wand

"The mark on his arm says otherwise," He growled, "Have you questioned him at all?

She kept her voice calm despite the overwhelming urge to scream at him. Now was not the time to question her decisions, "He's been in critical condition. His body wouldn't have been able to handle…"

"It was another Death Eater that attacked him, huh?

"Alastor, this isn't necessary," Lupin angrily insisted

"I just want to know if she's done her research," he responded without taking his eyes off of her, "I heard she's quite good at it."

If he was trying to coax a fight from her, he was going a good job. She felt like a wasp's nest.

"Dolohov…" she started.

He scoffed in disbelief

"What seems strange to me, Granger, is that you were alone when you found the Malfoy boy."

"Your point is?" Harry asked through gritted teeth.

The old auror was effectively surrounding himself with a pack of wolves

Moody leaned back in his chair, hands clasped over his stomach, "All I'm saying is that I've seen a loyal "friend" betray his friends before."

She inhaled sharply, feeling the implication like a punch to the gut.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Ron looked at the auror with disgust. Ginny made a sound of angry protest but Hermione didn't let her finish

"Would you like us to interrogate him then?" She stood from her chair, "A Crucio or two? Or three or five?" Harry gently grabbed her arm and she shook him off, "Perhaps we should carve into his arm? Then again, that doesn't always get people talking now does it?"

She was satisfied with the alarm that briefly flickered across his scarred face. The table fell silent. Only then did she notice the hot tears burning her eyes and the lump in her throat.

She swallowed, her voice deadly calm as she glared at Moody who finally seemed uncomfortable,

"I would never betray the Order. I would never do that to my friends."

"I think this meeting is over," Bill said with an edge to his voice and a pointed glare towards the man

With a resigned agreement, Moody used his cane to pull himself from his chair and staggered towards the doorway. He looked back at Lupin

"You know better than anyone. Constant vigilance."

"We'll see you at the next meeting, Alastor." He said with finality

He grunted a goodbye and limped out the door.

Hermione imagined grabbing her mug off the table and throwing it at Moody's retreating form. She felt sick

Tonks cursed suddenly

"What a fucking bastard," she gave Hermione a sympathetic look, "Don't listen to him. He has zero people skills"

"Hermione," Harry started carefully. She swallowed back her rage and hurt and turned her head towards him, "You know we trust you with our lives, right?"

"Yeah," Ron added, his ears till red from his outburst, "he's mental."

She nodded as Moody's accusation coursed through her. She felt dizzy from it. Their reassurance felt far away, unable to stop the words from poisoning her.

She wondered how long it would take before it started poisoning everyone else too

She hated Moody for planting that seed.

She felt contaminated

Hazardous

"I'm going to go to bed early," she finally said, feeling feverish

Lupin frowned at her but let her pass through the doorway without protest

She wondered if Pettigrew made similar excuses before betraying his friends

The stairs felt steep and treacherous, her earlier energy was wiped from her. She imagined just stopping on those final steps and laying down, the others stepping over her as they went up to bed and down to breakfast.

She dragged herself up the last step and found herself standing in front of Draco's door. She thought of the mark on his arm, its dead eyes staring back at her. She really hadn't asked him for any information on the Death Eaters. As dumb as it sounded, she had a hard time thinking of him as one.

A bully and a bystander, yes. But a Death Eater?

 _I couldn't kill you_

She opened his door and saw him laying on the bed with his arms crossed over his chest. She cast a silencing charm on the room

"Are they gone?" He asked without opening his eyes

"Yes," she answered. A few moments of silence passed and he had still not looked at her. She found that her earlier frustration had not been entirely snuffed out, "Do you have any useful intel?"

He opened his eyes and sat up on his elbows

"I was wondering when you'd ask…"

"So you do have something…"

"...truly thought it would've been sooner. Like as soon as I opened my eyes."

Her anger overflowed in a hot boiling mess.

Malfoy looked down at the arrow pointed at his chest

"If you know anything, you will tell me right now."

After a moment of surprise, he grabbed her wrist, yanking her arm roughly and pulling her on top of him. He quickly rolled on top of her, holding her wand arm up and crushing her wrist in his hand.

Absurdly, she thought of the night she had come into his room. She swore she saw a flash of hurt and disappointment in eyes.

She struggled briefly beneath him but despite his injury, he was still stronger.

He sat back, his legs still pinning her down, and moved her arm, aiming her wand at his heart. His voice was cold

"Go ahead, Granger. Crucio me."

Hot tears blurred her vision and to her horror, a sob tore through her throat

…

Draco released her immediately and stared down at her in horror. His heart pounded loudly in his chest

"I'm sorry," she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks and into her hair, "I'm so sorry."

 _I don't know! I'm sorry! Please stop! PLEASE!_

Her shoulders shook beneath as she apologized over and over and cried.

He stayed frozen on the bed, looking down at her. Draco wanted nothing more than to leave this room. To leave this fucking house and all of its inhabitants.

But all he could do was just sit there and watch

"Granger, stop," he ordered. She continued to cry and he felt himself begin to panic.

He thought of the manor and her sobs that had punctuated each round of tortured screaming. Blood spilling on the white marble

Draco felt himself shatter into a million pieces.

"Shut up!" He shouted at her, grabbing her shoulders. He thought of all the nights he couldn't sleep because of her and shook her roughly, "Just shut the fuck up!"

The crying had stopped and he saw the fear in her eyes as she looked at him.

"Don't look at me like that," he snapped. He saw her flinch and he softened his voice, "I'm not going to hurt you. I'd never…" he climbed off of her, avoiding her gaze, "just stop crying."

He covered his face with his hands, digging his palms into his eyes. He couldn't unsee her fear.

Long ago, he would've felt pride seeing her look at him like that.

Now it just made him feel sick and fucking lonely

After a moment of silence, he felt the weight shift on the bed and then felt her sit beside him, something warm touched his knee.

"Moody accused me of being a traitor for not interrogating you yet," Her voice rough from her tears. Draco looked towards her. Her legs were folded and he saw that it was her knee touching him

He wondered if she was as aware of it as he was

"He's mental so I wouldn't put too much stock in that," He replied. Truthfully, Draco was shocked. Granger was loyal to a fault. It was another gross Gryffindor trait. It would surely get her killed.

He felt a stab of discomfort at the thought.

He decided to ignore what that meant.

"He's been suspicious of me since I got back from the manor. Doesn't believe I was tortured so long without going mad," she let out an empty laugh, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve, "Sorry. I know you said to stop crying."

It must really suck, he thought, to go through all that and be called a traitor

"Fuck," he groaned, running a hand over his face, "No, Granger. You can fucking cry."

She nodded but the tears stopped and she remained sitting on the bed with him.

His bed

The situation was bizarre

She stared intently at his blanket and he watched her hand as it played with a thread. Her knee was _still_ resting against his and he debated whether or not to be the one who moved away.

"Malfoy," she finally looked at him, "do you know anything that could help us?"

He looked down at his hands, his Mark staring up at the pair of them. He covered it with his other hand, feeling like it was watching them.

Intruding

"It's all six months or older," he leaned back against the headboard and closed his eyes, "Useless."

He could feel her eyes flickering over his face, reading him like one of her books

"I believe you," she said earnestly and he opened his eyes to look at her. He saw her hand twitch and wondered if she had thought about grabbing his hand again. She had pulled away so quickly last time

"Must've been lonely," he quirked an eyebrow at her and she continued, "Being on the run alone."

Very, he thought.

He glanced at her hand again

Starved for human contact, he told himself.

That was a thing

He shrugged, hoping he appeared unaffected, "Anything was better than being at that manor."

He thought of his home and the sanctuary it used to be. Back when it was good to be a Malfoy

"Even here?" She asked, raising an eyebrow with a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"Depends," he lolled his head in her direction, "Am I prisoner here?"

Her brow crinkled with concern and she angled her body towards him, her knee gently pressing into his leg

"Of course not."

"Then I want my wand," he lifted his head from the bed, staring her down

To his surprise and frustration, she smirked

"I was wondering when you'd ask. Although I thought it would've been as soon as you opened your eyes."

He rolled his eyes but was immensely grateful they were back to teasing each other

"Oh yes ha ha, Granger. I see what you did there. Hilarious."

She smacked his arm and stood from the bed

"I'll get you your bloody wand, you prat,"

She was leaving

Good, he thought, they've had enough buddy-buddy interaction for the day

She crossed her arms and opened her mouth to say something undoubtedly bitchy but then she promptly shut it. Instead she ran a hand though her hair, looking almost apologetic

"It might take a little bit of time to convince the others," he opened his mouth to protest and she shot him a look, "but I'll get it back for you."

"Fuck," he groaned and fell back onto the pillows, covering his eyes with his arm. If it was up to Potter and Weasel, he was never going to get his wand back, "I might as well join the muggles."

Draco heard her sigh and he imagined she had put her hands on her hips

"You are so dramatic. I said I'd get it for you and I will…"

"My first spell will be a silencing charm," he waved his arm in her direction, "Silencio."

"You're so annoying."

"Can't hear you. You've been silenced."

He guessed that she rolled her eyes and he smirked. He heard the floorboards creak as she walked towards the door, hearing it shut behind her

…

The earth was shaking

Wait

It was her that was shaking

"Hermione, wake up!"

She opened her eyes and saw Harry looking down at her with urgency. A jolt of fear had her sitting up instantly

"Harry, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Ginny sat on her bed, her blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Ron took a seat at the end of her bed and she made room for Harry to sit as well.

"Neville just sent his patronus…"

Oh god, she thought, something horrible has happened.

"Everyone's fine, Hermione," Ron grabbed her foot and squeezed it, giving her a reassuring smile, "Breathe."

She looked back at Harry, trying to calm her racing heart, "Well?"

"They've located a dark object."

Her eyes widened. She, Harry, Ron, and Ginny were the only ones who knew about the horcruxes. A few months back, they had reached out to the rest of the main Order members and asked them to keep an eye out for any dark objects. After all, seven horcruxes and an entire world was a lot to take on for four people.

"What is it?" she asked, her mind already thinking of all the possibilities.

Harry grimaced, running a hand through his messy hair

"They don't exactly know. They heard from Smith that some Snatchers were talking about an object that You-Know-Who had in Nuremburg."

She thought on this for a moment. Zacharias Smith had been a former DA member and was later recruited to be a Snatcher, as most Slytherins were. Then from there, if you were thought to be something extra special and violent, you could join the Death Eater ranks. Needless to say, he made an effort to blend into the background and now he worked uncover for the Order.

Noticing her silence, the other three looked to her. Slowly, she finally nodded

"We shouldn't get our hopes up. It sounds like just gossip," Harry frowned but she continued, "but it _might_ be worth checking out. We'll start planning tomorrow and leave in the evening. I'll make a Portkey."

"Whose turn is it to go?" Ginny asked

"It'll be the four of us," Ron said as he leaned back against the wall. Ginny gave a low whistle

"Lupin and Tonks are not going to like that," she said, pulling the blanket tighter around her

"Too bad," Hermione added, "It's not their turn. We created the rotation for a reason."

The two older Order members would protest without a doubt but she refused to budge on this. If everyone had their way, then they'd be bringing along the entire Order every time.

 _If that's not the most Gryffindor thing I've ever heard_

Malfoy

She rubbed her temples, an image of him staring down at her was burned into her brain. She could still feel his weight on top of her and the heat of his skin radiating through his clothes.

But he could've been on fire and the look in his eyes would've still left her cold.

And why had she stayed? They had attacked each other with wand and weight. Could she not pick up on social cues anymore? That should've been a clear sign to leave.

She just sat on his _bed_ and talked to him like they'd been best mates.

Bizarre, she thought, truly bizarre

At least she hadn't held his hand again. She almost had. He looked like he had needed it.

But he was Draco Malfoy and she was Hermione Granger and they had no business holding hands.

"Let's get some sleep," Ron standing up from the bed.

"Ron," Ginny started, in awe "that's so responsible of you."

He grabbed Hermione's pillow and threw it at his sister while Harry and Hermione quietly laughed. Apparently not quiet enough because they heard two loud knocks on the wall.

Their laughter must've broke through muffliato charm. Hermione felt a brief flicker of guilt for waking him up

Ron flipped off her wall and left the room followed by Harry, who was just slightly more mature, just glared at it. She had to admit, they had been handling this Malfoy situation quite well

Ginny threw back her pillow and said goodnight before turning over. Soon her soft snores filled the room

Hermione gave the wall three apologetic knocks and settled under her blankets

She closed her eyes but sleep did not find her. The thought of being back out on the field had her mind and heart racing. She thought through the logistics, what they should pack and where they would look first. If they found a horcrux, would they just lock it in the basement with the other? Then there was still the question of how to destroy it…

There was so much to work through

She'd never say it out loud, but Hermione wouldn't miss out on tomorrow's mission for anything

…

As predicted, Lupin and Tonks were not happy about not going on the mission.

"Nuremburg is pretty broad," Tonks commented while crossing her arms, her usual playfulness replaced by a cold seriousness. If Hermione had been itching for action she knew that the older girl was probably dying for it

"No it's some famous muggle painter's house. Albert something," Ron answered

Hermione brightened, remembering a summer a few years back, "Albrecht Durer. I know where that is. My parents…" she shut her mouth instantly, a sharp pain filling her chest. She swallowed, less enthusiastic "It's not too far from the Nazi rallying grounds…"

"Explains why he picked it," Harry mumbled

Lupin sighed unhappily "So you have a location. But what exactly are you looking for?"

"We'll know it when we find it," Harry said with certainty. Hermione winced as Lupin pinched the bridge of his nose. Like her, Lupin liked having a plan before diving into a mission but she had been hunting for horcruxes long enough to know that they were plan-resistant.

"Okay," he finally said, looking not okay with it at all

…

She shoved the last bottle of dittany into her bag and checked off another item on her list.

"Got everything?" Tonks walked in and took a seat on the couch next to her.

"Almost," she answered looking at the last thing to do on her list

 _Malfoy_

"I'll keep an eye on him."

Hermione looked back up at the older girl in surprise. This morning her hair had been a dull brown but was progressing towards a vibrant auburn. A knowing smile played on her lips

"Though I probably won't willingly spend as much time with him as you have."

Hermione felt her face go hot. She hadn't realized that any of the others had noticed her extended visits. She wondered if Tonks thought this made her suspicious

"Isolation is not good for mental health," she mumbled in defense, dread filling her

Tonks laughed, "You don't have to defend yourself, Hermione. I know you have a soft spot for the down trodden."

The anxiety rushed out of her and she rolled her eyes at the comment. S.P.E.W would always come back to haunt her

"He can walk now, but I don't know how he'd do with the stairs…"

"Hermione"

"…he might need pain potions because he's been using his leg more. I've just brewed some so he should be set…"

"I've watched my mate's cat plenty of times. I think I can handle this."

Hermione laughed though her worry sat at the back of her mind. If something happened to her on this mission…

"Promise you won't throw him out if something happens to me."

The lingering smile on Tonks' face vanished and turned into deep concern

"Do you think that something is going to...?"

"No," she said quickly, "I don't think…just… promise me."

Tonks stared at her a moment longer, her eyes sharp and searching

"I promise," she finally said, reaching out to grab Hermione's hand and squeezing it tightly

The air seemed to enter her lungs easier as she gave Tonks a relieved smile

All she had to do now was tell Malfoy

…

As soon as he felt sufficiently pathetic, he stopped limping around his room and sat back down on his bed. It was some rough form of physical therapy Granger had suggested but now he was starting to wonder if she was just trying to make him feel stupid. He imagined her smug smile and scowled

Draco thought of the laughter coming from her room last night. He had heard Potter and Weasel rush into her room but then was unable to hear anything else through the paper thin walls. He had sat in still silence and about fell out of his bed when the loud laughter burst through

He had knocked angrily on the wall, his heart still racing from the sudden noise

Potter and Weasel had sounded awfully close.

An image of the Golden Trio all cuddled up on Granger's bed entered his mind and he angrily pushed it back out.

She had in his room earlier that day, sitting on his bed like he was one of her Gryffindors. With her stupid knee touching his leg.

And she had knocked back again

He groaned

She was infuriating

There was a quick knock on the door and _she_ walked in. The first thing he noticed was that she was dressed in boots and an ugly muggle coat. She wrung what looked to be a hat in her hands. Her hair was in a braid again, desperately trying to escape. She gave him a weary smile

She was leaving

"Hi," she said, stepping further into the room and closing the door behind her

"You're leaving," he said in response. His insides started to feel heavy, weighing the rest of his body down

"Just for a couple days," she said instantly, "For a mission."

He nodded and then laid back onto his pillows.

He felt so heavy

"I'll be back," she said quietly

Almost like she couldn't make any promises

 _I won't leave you, Malfoy_

"Why would I care if you came back or not?"

His voice was empty and uncaring, just as he intended it to be. If he pretended this awful feeling wasn't there, maybe then the heaviness would leave and he'd be able to breathe again and not feel like his heart was pumping some horrible poison throughout his body.

None of this happened

He looked up at her and she was staring at the hat in her hands. He knew he had hurt her. Even if he couldn't see her eyes, it was in the rise and fall of her chest, the way her shoulders tensed as if bracing for more cruelty

"Tonks will make sure you're alright," she said, still looking at her hat, "Bye Draco."

With that, she quickly turned and left

He thought of the acute loss he had felt when her hand had left his face and the ache it had left since

If she didn't come back…

Draco was sure he had turned to lead and had gone crashing through the floor


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for following and reviewing my story! Let me know what you think! :)

much love

bbs

…

I know who I am when I'm alone  
Something else when I see you  
You don't understand, you should never know  
How easy you are to need

Don't let me in with with no intention to keep me  
Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me.  
Honey don't feed me I will come back.

It Will Come Back by Hozier

…

His words pulsated in her head

 _Why would I care if you came back or not?_

Her pain felt like a betrayal. Two years fighting in a war and somehow Malfoy's cruel words made it through her carefully constructed armor.

The sound of Ron zipping up his bag tore through her thoughts. He gave her a smile she knew was meant to be reassuring and she gave one back. Harry walked into the room with Ginny and adjusted his glasses

"Ready?"

Hermione nodded and adjusted the beaded bag on her shoulder. Tonks caught her eye and gave her a knowing look. Hermione quickly averted her gaze

"Nope," Ron said as he shrugged his bag onto his shoulders, "Not that it matters."

They had decided to meet with Neville to get more information before running blindly into Nuremberg. Hermione insisted although it still didn't feel like it was enough. Harry was not happy with the decision, insisting that they were wasting precious time

Lupin stood in the doorway to the kitchen, frowning at the four of them

"Be careful. Give Neville and them our best."

They nodded their agreements and Hermione wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans.

"We should get going," Harry said, buzzing with nervous energy

She followed him out the door where they could apparate, giving Lupin and Tonks one last wave goodbye and doing her usual wondering of whether or not it would be the last time she would see them.

 _Why would I care if you came back or not?_

…

He laid on the floor of the room, his palms pressing against the cool hardwood floor.

Draco had heard her leave with the rest of them.

Granger

He had felt their nervous energy from his room and just wanted them gone. As soon as they were, the bed had started to feel like it would smother him at any moment.

So here he was.

On the floor

He ran a hand over his face and the door opened

"What are you doing on the floor?"

His cousin's voice seemed a mixture of concerned and amused. He stayed staring at the ceiling,

"Physical therapy."

"I see Hermione has gotten to you."

He flinched at her name. He couldn't help it.

"Can I help you, _Nymphadora_?"

He heard her sigh and, to his displeasure, walk into the room. Suddenly, her face blocked his view of the ceiling, making her look like a giant standing over him like that. She had pale blond hair that was almost as white as her grin

"We've never been formally introduced," she plopped down beside him, "also, don't act like your name is any less ridiculous than mine, _Draco._ "

"And to think, I've been missing out on this for all these years."

Nymphadora laughed loudly and he gave her an irritated look. Her laughter rattled in his ears. It did not wake up every nerve in his body. She continued smiling, leaning back on her hands

"Oh c'mon. I know I'm no Hermione, but I'm not that bad."

He did not want to talk about Granger

"You both talk too much."

"Mhm. That's why you're moping."

Draco sat up and moved away from his cousin

"I'm not moping. I'm relaxing," he shot her a look that he hoped would make her go away, "at least I was."

"Of course you were."

He dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his temples

"Can you leave? You're very annoying."

"Just thought you'd want your dinner.

"Then hand it off and leave."

"Well you'll have to come downstairs for it."

Surely she was joking.

"Right."

"Oh I'm serious."

He looked up at her and her hair had changed almost to Weasley shade of red. After a moment of confusion and a little bit of surprise, he remembered his mother talking about her mutant niece.

"No."

"Remus and I will help you."

"I don't want help from half-breeds."

For the second time in two days, he had a wand pointing at his chest. His cousin's hair changed to a shiny black color and with the look in her eyes, he was reminded of Bellatrix

"We aren't going to resort to name calling," her voice was a deadly calm and at once, he saw the Auror in her, "I know you don't believe that shit anymore so how about you stop pretending you do so we can move on with our lives. Sound good?"

For a moment, he felt a monstrous wave of anger building within him, boiling his blood. Nymphadora watched him patiently and with a sliver of caution, probably anticipating it all. He wondered if she had heard stories about him from Potter and Weasley.

From Granger

Stories about how awful he could be; how cruel.

But fuck, she was right

He didn't give a shit about blood status anymore. It never mattered

He imagined the Death Eaters standing there with their chests out as if their blood status had been a result of something they had done instead of just being lucky enough to be born into the "right" family.

It was easy to call mudbloods "dirty" until you saw how bright red their blood really was as it was spilled all over your home.

His anger dissipated

"Calm down. I didn't mean it," he finally said, pushing the wand away from his chest. Her face softened and her hair changed back to pale blond.

"Then let's get some dinner," she stood up and yelled, "REMUS!"

"Was that necessary?" he asked through gritted teeth,

Within seconds, he heard footsteps running up the stairs. The door burst open and his old professor was pointing a wand at him.

His cousin smiled widely,

"There you are, Remus. Draco is joining us for dinner."

Remus Lupin looked at her with a mix of relief and exasperation, pocketing his wand

"Did you have to yell?"

"My question exactly," Draco grumbled

Lupin gave him a polite smile,

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Malfoy."

He thought of all the times he had berated the older man. Of all the cruel things he had said

Feeling incredibly awkward, he could only nod back

"Well," she started, putting her hands on her hips and smiling at the older man, "I wanted a quick response. And it worked."

Lupin sighed and turned his attention back to Draco

"Would you like some help?"

"I think I can make it to the stairs," he mumbled, unable to look in the man's kind eyes. It was hard to imagine this man turning into a monster.

He wondered, as the two Order members watched him struggle to his feet, if it was hard for them to imagine the monster he had been

He hoped so

…

Harry hadn't touched the glass of water in front of him. Hermione watched as he stared intently at the glass while he listened to Neville.

They had spent the night at a muggle inn and had spent the whole next day planning. Through the window, Hermione saw the sun beginning to fall. They were just a few hours away from leaving for Nuremburg.

"They were just Snatchers though," Neville started, "they couldn't know about anything truly important, could they?"

"I'm willing to take that risk," Harry said seriously. He looked around the table, looking from Ginny, to Ron, and finally to her, "you guys don't have to, but I need to see for myself."

From his corner of the booth, Ron frowned at his best friend

" _We're_ willing, mate. We wouldn't let you do this alone."

Ginny grabbed his hand and nodded

They wouldn't

She wouldn't

"We're with you, Harry," she said, "Until the end."

Looking into her eyes, he knew that she meant it.

…

A few hours later, they stood in a dark alley just outside the inn. She was grateful to the darkness for hiding her anxiety. They hadn't been this close to something for almost a year.

She felt Harry creep his hand into hers and she gripped it tightly, sending a prayer to whatever was listening that she wouldn't splinch them all. She would get them to Nuremburg.

"I'm first taking us to the park and then we'll make our way to the house."

She felt Ron grab her other hand and squeeze it tight, "Sounds like a plan."

"Well," she sighed, "It's the best we got."

Harry shifted beside her and she knew they could no longer prolong the inevitable. She closed her eyes picturing the park she had picnicked in without the added memory of her mother laughing. The image of the big tree she had read beneath became steady in her mind and they were pulled away.

…

The four of them stumbled as they landed under the tree's branches. Hermione gripped her wand, pointing into the darkness. The only light came from a streetlamp in the distance. Ron stood with his back to hers

" _Homenum Revelio,"_ Ginny whispered, her breath visible in the cold as they stood still as statues

They were alone.

It should have been a relief but Hermione felt her nerves coil tighter. She was embarrassed of her fear. Ashamed of how much she wanted to turn back. All the desire to finally do something seemed to dissipate into nagging doubt as she pulled the Portkey from her bag and tucked it into an opening of the tree

The night just felt too still, as if the universe had taken in an anticipatory breath and was nudging her to pay attention

 _Wait for it_

 _Wait for it_

This was not right

"Harry, I think we should…"

"Hermione, no. We're not stopping now," Harry said firmly, "Let's go."

He stepped forward and Ron followed. Ginny fell behind her brother and Hermione was last, paranoia viciously snapping at her heels

She wanted to insist that they return to the safe house and come up with a better plan. She wanted to grab him and shake him, convince him with logic and reason

But she knew the horrible truth

They were already in too deep.

Abruptly, Ginny pulled Harry to a stop and pointed ahead. They all froze, watching at the two figures walked until they heard a woman's laugh and one figure embraced another before continuing their stroll. They sighed with relief

"Unless that's Bellatrix and Rodolphus, I think we're fine," Ron whispered

Harry snorted, "Not bloody likely."

"I think we should split up," Ginny suggested, her eyes still following the couple, "We'll be less obvious. Me and Harry? You and Ron?"

Hermione and Ron nodded in response and Harry spoke, "We'll take the far side, yeah? Send a patronus if there's an emergency."

She watched as they left her and Ron, feeling a growing sense of dread

"And I thought you were bossy," Ron said watching after them before flashing her a grin. She rolled her eyes and they started walking towards the house, wands at the ready. There wasn't a soul in sight as they searched their side of the parameter.

They passed the nightmarish statue of the bunny and it seemed to watch them with its frantic stare

 _Wait for it_

 _Wait for it_

It was all wrong. A dark object left unguarded in a muggle tourist attraction? How did that make any sense? The blood began to pound in her ears and her mouth went dry. They had jumped into this too quickly. Wasn't it her job to get everyone to think before they acted?

 _What's the point of keeping you around then?_

"Hermione? Are you alright?"

She realized that she had stopped walking. Ron looked at her with concern

"This doesn't feel right, Ron. We shouldn't be here."

He stepped closer, looking serious

"Do you think it could be a horcrux making you feel that way?"

"Don't you think you'd be feeling it too then?"

Ron frowned, unconvinced "Hermione…I think you're just too stuck in your head. Let's just focus on finding the object." He turned to walked away but she grabbed his arm

"That's the thing. I don't think there's anything to find."

He pulled his arm away from her and she knew he was growing irritated, "Maybe Tonks or Lupin should've taken your place tonight. You've seemed…off lately."

He continued walking and she followed behind, his words adding to the weight in her chest.

 _When is the last time you actually did something useful?_

"The door's open," she heard in front of her. Ron had paused, pointing the light from his wand at the barely opened door of Albrecht Durer's home. The shred of darkness in the crack of the door sent a chill down her spine. She felt herself take a step back,

"Ron, please, listen to me…"

They heard people approaching and turned around, wands pointed at the intruders. Harry and Ginny held up their hands

"It's just us."

Ron cursed, lowering his wand, "You had to sneak up on us like that"

"Next time I'll be sure to scream our arrival," Ginny replied, rolling her eyes

"That's all I ask."

Hermione watched as Harry approached the door and she stepped forward, wanting to grab him before something reached out and pulled him into the darkness.

"Let's go."

"Harry, it doesn't feel like…"

"You can stay out here then," he snapped at her, reaching to open the door wider. He stepped through, followed by Ron and then Ginny who shrugged at her before going in. Hermione glanced one more time behind her and stepped through the door to follow her friends.

No one was on the first floor of the house but they still had four more floors to go.

They reached the bottom of the staircase to the third floor before they saw a box sitting at the top.

Hermione felt her stomach drop at the sight of it, knowing it was there for them.

" _Accio,_ box," Harry said before she could stop him. He bent down and unfolded the tabs, blocking its contents from the rest of them as they aimed their wands around the room

"Fuck," he gasped, stumbling away from the box. She turned to help him

"Don't look," he urged them. But it was too late

Zacharias Smith's head stared at them in horror

 _Run_

The universe exhaled

Hermione was hit with a spell and thrown across the room, her lower back hitting so hard against a wooden table, she thought she was going to vomit. She moved to get up but collapsed in pain, wondering how much damage was done to her kidneys, ducked behind the overturned table as more spells flew over her head. Finally, she looked up and blocked a weak Cruciatus before knocking out one of the Snatchers

She counted six in all

From her spot, she saw Harry on the floor, fighting off another Snatcher.

"Stupefy!"

Another one went down and she crawled over to Harry

"Are you alright?" he asked her when she reached him. He shot a curse over her shoulder and must've missed his target because he cursed.

"I'm fine," she said, "Can you stand?"

Ron took down another Snatcher that was fighting Ginny and she shot him a grateful look

"I think my ankle's broken," he said through gritted teeth. He looked in her eyes, "You were right."

She blocked another spell aimed at them, breathing hard

"Let's get out of this and then we can talk about it."

Hermione pulled herself to her feet, standing over Harry as she pulled one of the Snatchers that was fighting Ginny into a fight with her. She took that one down and saw they had two more left

She felt herself fall into the battle as she seamlessly threw spell after spell. He was clearly more skilled than his companions. A slicing curse grazed her shoulder, but she didn't stop

" _Expelliarmus!"_ Harry yelled and the wand flew into his hand. Ginny marched over to him before punching him in the face and kneeing him in the groin. Ron disarmed the final one and snapped the wand in half. Seizing the opportunity, Hermione grabbed ahold of Harry's arm

"Grab ahold of each other!"

Ginny grabbed her other hand and Ron grabbed Ginny and Hermione apparated them back to the tree. Moments after landing on hard ground, she heard a voice shout

" _Avada Kedavra_!"

Harry pulled her to the ground and the bright green light exploded above her head. Looking around she saw the couple they had disregarded earlier shooting more spells at Ginny and Ron.

She cursed and pulled herself to her feet

The man from the couple laid still on the ground but the woman was fighting both of the Weasley's. Ginny's wand flew from her hand

" _Sectumsempra_!"

Hermione raised her wand just as Ron jumped in front of his sister and collapsed to the ground

" _Stupefy!"_

The woman flew backwards and did not get back up

"RON!" Ginny yelled, falling to her brother on the ground

Hermione rushed over and Harry limped behind her.

Under the streetlamp, she could see blood pulsing from Ron's opened veins. She fell beside him and pulled dittany from her bag, dumping vials on him

They did nothing

"We need the counter curse," she mumbled frantically, trying every healing spell she knew, "I don't know it. This spell isn't in the books. I never learned…dammit Ron…"

 _Useless Mudblood_

"Only the Death Eaters know it," Harry said as he watched his best friend lay dying

Malfoy

She looked at the other two who watched her work desperately,

"I have an idea. We're going back to the house. Ginny, get the Portkey. Harry, help me put pressure on his wounds."

Without another word, Ginny sprinted towards the tree. Hermione pressed her hand down, willing the blood to stop

"You'll be okay, Ron. Don't worry. We won't let anything happen to you. Just…just stay with us. You'll be okay."

…

Draco sat on the couch, sweating as he glared at the staircase. You would've thought he had hiked down a bloody mountain with the way he felt. He rested his head back on the couch cushion as his leg throbbed. He imagined Granger walking in and saying something condescending and then him telling her to shut up and go read a book or something.

He was sure that in the moment, he would be cleverer

She'd probably cross her arms and storm out of the room

But she'd come back

 _I won't leave you, Malfoy_

Shouldn't they be back by now?

"You look like you need this."

A small vial was hanging over his head and he grabbed it

"Thanks," he said before tossing it back. The pain in his leg went away but he did not feel better at all

"No word yet," she said with a sigh, settling beside him on the couch, "waiting is the worst."

He said nothing as he stared at the vial, twirling it in his fingers

 _I'll be back_

 _Why would I care if you came back or not?_

He pictured her walking through the door and removing her hat. _We did it,_ she would say _, we saved the world._ Maybe she'd sit next to him on the couch and grab his hand.

 _I was wondering when you'd be back._

 _I was hoping it would've been sooner._

 _Like as soon as I opened my eyes_

He felt a shift in the wards and sat up. His cousin stood up and quickly went for the door and exited without a word. Lupin hurried from the kitchen

"Dora?" he started

"She went out the door."

A second went by and the door came bursting open. Granger stormed through covered in blood, her eyes wild and searching

They locked onto his

Behind her, his cousin levitated in an unconscious Weasley. His blood was dripping onto the floor. The girl Weasley came in supporting a limping Potter

"Draco," Granger stood in front of him, tears staining her cheeks, "Ron was hit with a spell…He's dying…"

"This was your plan?" Potter asked her angrily as he laid Weasley on the floor, "ask the Death Eater?"

She ignored him and stayed locked on Draco's face, her hand fumbling in her pocket. She pulled her wand from her pocket and held it out for him

"Please."

Offering your wand to someone was no small thing. He had never done it willingly

It meant trust

He took one last look in her eyes and grabbed it from her, immediately feeling the magic flow through him like cool air. Potter pointed his wand at him and Granger shouted

"Harry, stop!"

"Do you want Weasley to die or not?" Malfoy sneered. Without waiting for an answer, he shoved him aside, "Sectumsempra?"

He felt her breath on the back of his neck, "Yes."

He waved Granger's wand over the body, reciting the incantation.

" _Vulnera Sanentur"_

Weasley's wounds began to close

"Blood replenishing potion," he started to say, but Granger was already kneeling by Weasley's head and tilting the vial into his mouth

"Give him a couple more of those," he said to her, "and he'll be fine."

"Let's get him upstairs," Lupin said as he levitated Weasley's body from the ground and Ginny followed. Granger held out her hand and without thinking, Draco handed over her wand. She pointed it at Potter's ankle, who grimaced as bandages wrapped tightly around it. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, she helped Potter to his feet but quickly hissed in pain.

Nymphadora reached out, "I'll take him Hermione. You're hurt."

"It's nothing."

"I got him. Just let me get something cold for his ankle."

Draco watched as Granger helped him limp to the staircase. He heard them whispering words to each other. Then he saw him grab her hand and pull her into a gentle embrace.

Potter pressed his lips to the top of Granger's head.

It was tender.

It was loving

 _Get a room_ , he wanted to say.

His tongue would not work

He looked away

"Malfoy," he heard Potter say, "I owe you."

The last thing he wanted to hear was Potter's voice.

"Yep," he replied.

It was apparently enough as he heard no more from him as he limped up the stairs with his cousin's help. He heard Granger approach him and words fell out of his mouth.

"How long?"

"How long what?"

His mouth was a ruptured artery. He could not stop

"You and Potter."

She started laughing and he felt it everywhere

"Harry and I are just friends. He and Ginny on the other hand…"

The relief was immediate. He would not think about it.

He snapped his mouth shut, afraid of what else might spill out

She sat down next to him and started speaking

"It was a trap. They must've known or at least suspected that Smith was a spy for us and fed him false information. He's dead," she shivered and he knew it was not an easy death, "I knew something was wrong but we kept going. We were desperate," she shook her head, her loose curls bouncing around her face, "There was an ambush. I got hit. Harry broke his ankle. Ron nearly died. It was a fucking mess. But you," she looked at him, a small smile, "You were the only thing I got right. You were amazing. Thank you."

Draco shrugged, though he felt light radiating in his chest,

"I couldn't just, you know, stand there and watch."

She nodded, that smile still on her lips.

"I know what you mean."

A not-unpleasant silence fell between them. Moments later, she stood up and disappeared into the kitchen. He heard her shuffling around and after a few minutes, she walked out with his wand in her hand.

She held it out to him

"Here. This belongs to you."

Draco reached out and grabbed his wand, looking up at her. She was covered in blood and her hair was a disaster, but she smiled brilliantly as she handed it to him

"Thanks, Hermione."

"You're welcome, Draco."

 _You were the only thing I got right_

She removed her bloodied coat and bag. She returned to her spot next to him and kicked off her boots before grabbing her bag and shuffling though it. He could see blood through the tear in her shirt as she moved.

He pointed his wand at the cut on her shoulder

" _Episkey,"_

Draco watched her face as she looked down at the healed skin, running her finger over the small scar there. She looked at him with a mixture of confusion and surprise before smirking at him

"I thought you said your first spell with your wand would be a silencing spell."

He was relieved she wasn't making it a huge deal.

He wasn't exactly sure what came over him

"Shut up and go read a book or something."


	8. Chapter 8

She tied you to her kitchen chair  
She broke your throne and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley

…

Beneath the floorboards, she could feel the horcrux's steady murmur. She thought of the man in The Tell-Tale Heart and wondered if the sound would drive them all mad as well. A chill went through her and she sat up from the floor winced with pain

She knew that fall would hurt later

She pulled the blanket around her tightly and looked around. It was still early. Light was barely creeping through the window and she knew she had a couple hours before the rest of the house was awake. As much as she loved being with her friends, this time to herself was one of her favorite times of the day.

When she had first opened her eyes, it had taken her a moment to realize she was on the floor in the living room. At some point in the night, someone had put a blanket on her. Lupin, maybe.

The last she remembered was the silence that had fallen between her and Malfoy after their curious exchange. Her hand went to the scar on her arm where he had healed her. She hadn't expected him to curse her the moment she gave him his wand but his actions had surprised her. The look on his face had told her he was surprised by it too.

Slowly she stood up and folded the blanket into a neat square and hung it over the back of the couch. Despite her work with Tergeo charm the night before, she was still feeling grimy and wanted a shower after checking on the boys and Ginny.

Maybe Malfoy too.

Hermione silenced her footsteps as she walked up the stairs and across the hall. She quietly opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind her. Harry laid on his back with his wrapped ankle propped up on a pillow and his arm thrown over his face. Hermione walked over and picked his blanket off the floor and laid it over him gently, smiling when she saw him relax in its warmth. She turned to Ron and sat on the edge of his bed, watching the rise and fall of his bandaged chest.

They still had to talk about the previous night. They had a half-baked plan and almost got themselves killed. She thanked whatever was listening that they hadn't been up against more experienced Death Eaters. Then there was Zacharias…she willed away the last image of him and could only hope that it had ended quickly for him. She mentally added him to the list of people she has let down.

 _I'm so sorry, Zacharias_

She carefully stood from Ron's bed, covering his feet with his blankets, and quietly left the room. As she walked by the bathroom, she heard the shower running, but with a quick peek into her room, she saw that Ginny was still buried in her blanket.

Malfoy, she thought as she pulled out clothes to change into

Finally she heard the shower go off and she walked out in the hallway, her clean clothes bundled in her arms. The door was partially open and she could see a head of blond hair in the mirror. Before realizing what she was doing, she shifted so she could see more of the mirror.

He was frowning at his reflection and found herself being able to relate. She wasn't a fan of staring at her reflection very long either. She had noticed before that his hair was the longer than ever but now she saw that he was obviously not happy with its state. She walked up and gave two quick knocks before opening the door even further. Gray eyes shifted to her in the mirror, looking agitated with her intrusion

"Would you like a haircut?"

…

Draco could've stood under the hot water for hours. It was the first time he truly felt clean in months. He heard Granger walk across the hall and into Potter and Weasley's room. He imagined her tending gently to their wounds and scrubbed his skin harder.

He had seen her falling asleep the night before, her eyes heavy as she quickly used a cleaning charm to rid herself of the blood and dirt. He had watched as she laid on the floor, ignoring the perfectly good couch and promising that she was only going to shut her eyes for a moment. His eyes couldn't quite leave her face as her breaths became even. A loose curl hanging in her face had fluttered every time she exhaled. After feeling sufficiently creepy, he had stood up and grabbed the blanket off the couch and threw it over her unceremoniously, decidedly ignoring the way she sighed in content under its warmth. When he had looked back towards the stairs, he saw his cousin watching him curiously.

Draco had ducked his head and walked past her, feeling her eyes on him as he avoided her gaze. Falling asleep had been easy with his wand under his pillow and the house not feeling quite as empty as before.

When he got out of the shower, he meant to dress himself and leave without running into his reflection. However, when he opened the door, he saw a glimpse of himself in his periphery and made the mistake of turning to look. The fresh air from the hallway had cleared the mirror and he stared back at the man before him.

Everything seemed to be in the right place even if he did look a bit gaunt. He wasn't exactly sure what he had expected to see in the mirror but felt relieved.

He grimaced at the shaggy state of his hair, running a hand through it with distaste. Two quick knocks on the almost made him jump out of his skin and his hand went for his wand. Without waiting for an answer, the door opened and Granger peeked her head in. There was a red imprint on her cheek and her hair was sticking up on one side but otherwise she looked awake.

"Would you like a haircut?'

His eyes flickered to her mass of curls before looking back at her expectant face and he watched as she caught her own reflection in the mirror and winced at the rebellious curls. She looked back at him and lifted her chin as if daring him to make fun of her

"Well," she started, "yes or no?"

A better man could've resisted the urge to antagonize her but he was not that man

"Do you even know how?" he scoffed, giving her a doubtful look. She gave him an incredulous look and he couldn't help but smirk

"Do I even…? You kill me, Malfoy," she said shaking her head as she turned and nodded towards the stairs, "Come on."

Draco could've told her to bugger off but instead he was following her down the stairs. They walked through the living room and he saw the blanket folded neatly over the couch again. He found himself wondering if she had speculated who had covered her. He thought of his cousin's face when he had thrown the blanket on Granger. He would be the last person she suspected.

In the kitchen, she set down her pile of clothes on the table. His eyes flickered to the white thong peeking out from under the shirt. She pulled a chair from the table and motioned to it,

"Sit"

He gave her a wary look and sat down facing the sink. He heard her rummaging through a drawer He felt her standing just behind him

"Stop looking so scared. I do Harry and Ron's hair all the time," she said while rummaging through a drawer

"That is not consoling at all."

"I have the scissors now so you have to shut up or my hand might slip."

He scowled towards the sink but said no more.

Her hand ran through his hair and he closed his eyes as her fingers grazed his scalp carefully. He thanked Merlin when she did it again. He could've fallen asleep to the feel of her fingers and the quiet that filled the kitchen only disturbed by the sound of the scissors and their breathing. Finally, she brushed hair from his shoulders and felt her move in front of him. A moment later, he heard the scissors once again and felt a piece of his hair flutter onto his hand

"I used to cut my dad's hair too," he heard her say and then felt her tense. She hadn't meant to say it aloud. She hadn't meant to expose such a precious memory to him. Draco could almost feel her pulling it close to her, afraid he would be cruel. Afraid he would poison it.

In the past, he wouldn't have hesitated to mock her so he understood her protectiveness. Now there was no desire to hurt the girl before him. This girl with her bossy voice, gentle hands and painful memories.

A few breaths later, he spoke, watching her guarded expression

"My father would've never let me cut his hair."

For one horrifying moment, he thought he had made a mistake by bringing up two notorious blood purists. People who had hated her and her kind and had wanted her dead.

But a burst of laughter erupted from her and she threw a hand over her mouth, muffling her laugh. He grinned as the delighted sounded danced in him. It had been the first time he had spoken of his parents without his sadness feeling like a whip. It was there but tinged with a happiness he did know could come with such a feeling

Finally her hand fell from her lips and she was smiling at him, her eyes sparkling and her face flushed.

"You have a nice smile."

Before he could respond, she picked the scissors back up and sheared off another lock of hair. She ran a hand through the front of his hair and let himself close his eyes to her touch suddenly paying more attention to the sound of her breathing. For once he was grateful for her meticulous nature as she took her time

"There," she said sound pleased with herself. He opened his eyes and she smiling at him again. He ran a hand through is hair and was relieved to find that there was still enough left. With a flick of her wand, she transfigured a ladle into a hand mirror and turned it towards him, "You're a new man, Draco Malfoy."

The person staring back at him already looked wildly different than the one he had seen less than an hour ago. His hair was shorter and looked loads better than it did before, but there was something in his face that wasn't there before. Remnants of their laughter lingered in the light of his eyes and the new color in his cheeks. He looked away from the mirror and she raised her eyebrows at him expectantly

"Not bad."

"Not bad, he says," she scoffed but smiled as she waved her wand again and the fallen locks of his hair were whisked into the trash. He watched as she grabbed her clothes from the table and he thought of the white thong again, tucked in between the jeans and shirt. There was no lace and they were entirely practical but he couldn't seem to get them out of his mind

 _What are you? 14?_

There was also the fact that they belonged to Granger.

"After I shower, I'll come down and make breakfast. Tea's in the top left cabinet, okay?"

He nodded and willed away the image of her in the shower. She started to leave the room

"Granger," she turned to him, holding the clothes to her chest, "Thanks."

The radiant smile returned

"You're very welcome."

…

She thought that his hair had looked like white feathers as it fell to the kitchen floor. It had been almost mesmerizing as she watched their descent. She was still shocked he had let her near his hair. Back in school, he had seemed obsessed with armoring it with gel.

And he thought she had bad hair, she thought with a smirk as she pulled on her jeans.

Hermione still wasn't entirely sure what had possessed her to approach him. She wasn't entirely sure why he said yes either. Desperation? Possibly. The boy was confusing. Just the other night he expressed his indifference towards her survival and now they were spending their morning together

Something had happened in that kitchen. He had smiled at her for Godric's sake. A very nice smile too, she thought again. It had lit up his whole face

Well good, she thought, yanking on a wool sock that failed to match the other. It was about time they were civil towards each other.

She snuck down the hallway once again and crept down the stairs and headed for the kitchen where the capricious boy awaited.

He looked up when she walked in and Hermione noted how well the new cut fit him as she rummaged through the pantry. Her heart sunk at the sight of their dwindling resources. They had lost a lot when they insisted the Weasley's took portions back to their new safe houses. Soon they would have to go on another run.

"Did you get lost?" she heard Malfoy ask.

"Oh shut up," she replied, stepping out of the pantry carrying three of their few remaining cans. She set them on the table,

"On today's menu, we have tuna and canned pears."

He sat down his mug and sat back in his chair, sighing

"I'll only eat it if it's canned tuna."

"I don't mean to brag," she said, pulling back the tab on the can, "but I make the best canned tuna."

"So I've heard"

His mock sincerity made her laugh and he gave her another smile. She made them both small plates and sat across from him.

"Excellent," he said after the first bite of the flavorless tuna, "You've outdone yourself."

She almost choked on a pear as she laughed once again. The door to the kitchen swung open and Lupin walked in. His expression turned to one of surprise when he saw the two sitting there but he quickly recovered

"I heard laughing," he said with a smile as he went to the cupboard for a mug. She looked towards Malfoy but any trace of their previous conversation had left his face as he quietly started eating their meager breakfast. The quick change in demeanor almost had her guessing if it happened at all.

"Sorry if we woke you," she said, making him a plate and setting it at the place next to her. He gave her a grateful smile and sat down

"Not at all. It's nice to hear laughter in times like these," he gave Hermione a grin and turned his attention towards Malfoy, "Your spellwork last night was very impressive. I hope you'll teach us the counter-curse. We've lost a lot of good men to that one."

Malfoy nodded in response and gave a quiet 'thanks' before returning to his tea. Hermione frowned but Lupin did not seemed bothered by his attitude as he took a sip of his tea.

The kitchen door flew open and Tonks grinned at the three of them. This morning her hair was jet black with thick bangs covering her forehead. Her eyes settled on Malfoy and her grin grew wider

"Cute haircut, Draco."

He scowled in response, pushing his last pear around on his plate. Hermione barely stifled a laugh which earned her a glare. Tonks pressed a kiss to Lupin's temple before gratefully accepting her breakfast from Hermione. She then moved around the table to sit next to Malfoy who looked not at all pleased to have his cousin sitting by him.

"Were you warm enough last night, Hermione?" the older girl asked, glancing towards Malfoy with a smirk. Hermione noticed that he refused to look at her. She gave him a curious look before replying

"Yeah, I can't believe I fell asleep on the floor again."

"I can," Lupin said, setting down his fork. Knowing she was about to be lectured, she felt her face burn in shame, "You lot rushed in there with hardly a plan and almost got yourselves killed. You haven't made it this far to die from stupidity and carelessness. You put yourselves in danger but you put each other in danger as well. And with Harry with you? You know that…"

She felt a weight slam into her as her mind returned to Moody's accusations. Did they think she was being reckless with Harry's life on purpose? They couldn't really think that she'd do something like that. It would be absurd…

"I wouldn't have let anything happen to him," she insisted, her voice sounding far away, "You know I would protect him with my life. Any of them."

The anger dissipated from Lupin's eyes and put his hand on hers, anchoring her back to the present

"You don't have to value your life less in order to protect them, Hermione. You're brilliant. All we ask is  
that you use that brain of yours before rushing into things."

She nodded, slightly relieved though guilt and shame still burned in her chest. She felt Malfoy's eyes on her and her face burned brighter. Finally, Lupin squeezed her hand and released it,

"The others will be hearing the same thing. Less so about being brilliant," he gave her a wink and she forced a smile all too aware of Malfoy's eyes on her. She couldn't look at him. She couldn't bear it if he was smirking at her.

Not after she'd seen that smile.

It had transformed his cold aristocratic face into something else entirely, something warmer. The persisting cold that had managed to wrap itself around her in the last few years had relented in that moment. No way had it come from the same boy who had opened the door to this cruel world and shoved her through with one word

You're a new man, Draco Malfoy.

"On a more positive note," Tonks started, folding her hands under her chin, "we are running out of food."

"Ah yes finally some good news," Malfoy mumbled before taking a drink. Hermione swore she saw Lupin hide a smirk behind his mug

"I noticed this morning," Hermione said with a sigh, thinking of their few cans and feeling the exhaustion that had somehow escaped her earlier, "We're fine now, but we're going to have to go out again soon."

"Soon might not be an option," Lupin started, sounding almost as tired as she felt, "There will be Death Eaters and Snatchers everywhere since you were spotted. I'm willing to bet that the price on your heads has increased astronomically."

"That's what happened last time."

Hermione looked up and her eyes locked with Malfoy's. He continued, his gaze refusing to leave her own. She fought the urge to look away

"Last time he had us," he swallowed and she saw a flicker of shame in his eyes, "The Death Eaters and Snatchers, patrolling everywhere. Hogsmeade, Diagon Alley, Hogwarts. Muggle London. Even the price on Weasley's head was already enough to make the poorest wizard into one of the wealthiest in all of Europe. Money, as it turns out, is quite the incentive."

She fought the urge to drop her head into her hands and sob. She felt the hopelessness in the room coming from the others in the room. She felt it for her friends upstairs. They would starve waiting out the man hunt.

"But," Malfoy started and she held herself up on that one word, "It was only a few Snatchers. It's possible that someone will just write them off as trying to climb the ranks or they'll won't say anything out of fear of being punished for not succeeding."

She wondered how wise it was to test her weight on Malfoy's word.

"I guess we just have to hope that fear is more powerful than money this time around," she responded and watched the corner of his mouth left upwards just slightly.

She supposed she could take the risk

Lupin stood, grabbing their empty plates

"Tonks and I will go out in a few days and hope the latter is the case."

He gave Malfoy a nod and left the room. Tonks finished her tea and let out a long sigh,

"I have to meet with Moody today. Wants to know every annoying detail about everything."

"How unlike him," Hermione replied with a smirk that the older girl returned, "Have fun with that."

"I promise to have as much fun as I usually do," Tonks said as she left the room and the two alone in the room again.

…

Draco watched the smile fall from her face as her cousin left the room and he felt a flash of jealously. Whatever happened between them that morning surely didn't top whatever she had with her friends in the house. They weren't even friends.

But he didn't exactly hate being around her either

"Did you mean what you said?" she asked suddenly, her eyes searching his face for truth "about the Snatchers not telling anyone?"

He could see how badly she wanted to believe it.

He had seen the way the color had drained from her face when Lupin had brought it up. He had watched her accept the guilt and shame onto her shoulders like she was used to its weight.

"Yeah, Granger. I did."


	9. Chapter 9

It's been…over a year since I updated this story. I suck. Please enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think :)

Much love,

BBS

* * *

And oh, I know it felt right and I had you in my grasp

Oh, then how we gonna cry  
Cause it once might not mean something  
Love, a second glance it is not something that we'll need  
Honey, understand that I have been left here in the reeds  
But all I'm trying to do is get my feet out from the crease

715- Creeks by Bon Iver (performed by The Nor'easters)

* * *

Hermione felt Ron stir from her place at the end of his bed and looked up from her book. She glanced over at Harry and saw that he was still sound asleep. Tonks must've drugged him well. Ron lifted his head and squinted at her before letting it fall back on the pillow.

He groaned, running a hand over his face, "I feel awful."

"You don't look much better either," Hermione offered quietly as she knelt beside him, smiling when he glared at her. She tried to hide her relief but Ron knew her too well

"Thank you for not giving me one of your hugs. I admire your self-control," he reached out for her hand and she gripped it tightly, letting out a choked laugh

"There's still time, you know."

"It would end me," he said and her eyes welled with tears, "Oh Hermione," he said, his voice softening as he reached up to wipe the tears from her cheek, "Don't cry. I'm fine. Really."

She nodded and pulled away, wiping her eyes, "That can't happen again."

"None of that should've happened in the first place," he looked at her seriously, a hint of an apology in his voice, "You tried to stop us and we didn't listen."

"But I should've…"

"You should've what? Petrified us? Because that's the only thing that would've stopped us from going in there."

She offered him a weak smile, "Well I've done it before."

Ron smiled softly back and she moved to get up, grimacing in pain

"Are you alright?"

"Just landed wrong when I was hit," she insisted, her back protesting, "I'll be fine."

He gave her a look of concern and opened his mouth to say something, but she gave him a look

"Seriously, Ron. I'm fine."

Ron held up his hands in surrender and she was grateful for it.

"Who's fine?"

Harry's tired voice startled her. Hermione moved to help him when she saw his look of pain as he tried to sit up

"I can do it," he said brusquely, snatching his glasses of the nightstand. She sat back on Ron's bed, feeling hurt. She was reminded of all her fruitless attempts to be their friend back in first year and the embarrassment that came with each rejection. Her cheeks burned as she felt that same humiliation now

 _Just a worthless Mudblood_

"Looks like we all are," Ron replied then nodded towards Harry's ankle, "how's that working out for you?"

"We messed up," Harry said and Hermione could hear the self-disgust begin to leak into his voice. His green eyes settled on hers and she wanted nothing more than to reach out to him

"You're a little late to the game, mate. We already went over this," Ron said, laying his head back on the pillow.

Harry's lips tightening into a thin line, but he said nothing. Hermione would bet that he was already adding the guilt from the night before to the many other burdens he carried.

"So," Ron started again, scratching the scar on his shoulder, "who do I have to thank for saving my life?"

"Malfoy," she answered, slapping his hand away. Harry took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, obviously displeased

"Fuck me," Ron groaned, "Do I have to say thank you?"

"I would never ask you to do that," Hermione said standing up and pressing a kiss to his forehead. She was actually quite surprised that no fights had broken out between the boys and Malfoy. The tension was thick whenever they briefly crossed paths, glares were exchanged, but nothing came from it. She supposed she owed that to Malfoy's tendency to avoid the group as much as he could.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked, obviously annoyed that he was confined to his bed

"Off to do the usual," she opened his drawer and grabbed his blue sweater, "I'm stealing this."

"You're taking advantage of an injured man," Ron stated, gesturing towards Harry.

"I absolutely am," she replied, shrugging the sweater over her head, "Ginny should be up with breakfast soon."

"Hermione," Harry started, his voice soft and his eyes filled with sorrow, "I'm sorry. I should've listened."

"We will get them, Harry," she replied, sounding determined, "I promise."

* * *

Draco stared at the door that held closed the gaping mouth of the basement. He felt a rhythm of hot, humid air that push underneath the door like slow heavy breathing. The more he looked at the door, the more he was convinced that it was moving, rising and falling like a wooden lung.

At the manor, there had been plenty of restricted rooms, especially during the later years. Those rooms seemed to pulsate as if the things it held breathed life into them and turned them into beasts. He remembered the marks around Granger's neck. A cursed object, she had said.

Looked like he found it

He pressed his ear to the door, hearing nothing at first and then a scream that had only haunted his sleep until now.

"Granger?" he breathed, staggering backwards from the door. Blood pounded in his ears as fear constricted his throat.

She screamed again, her voice cracking with desperation and finally he moved, yanking open the door and limping quickly down the stairs. He stopped abruptly at the sickening familiar sight.

Granger laid unmoving on the basement floor, her face turned away from him as a pool of blood formed slowly beneath her head

"Granger?" he asked again, but even he could barely hear her name from his lips

Slowly, her head lulled towards him. Blood trailed from her nose and ears.

He collapsed to his knees beside her. "SOMEONE HELP US!" he yelled up the stairs, praying someone would hear them. He took her face in his hands, her eyes were wide and filled with tears.

"Malfoy…Draco, please…make it stop," she begged him, her voice broken by her desperate screams. She had bitten her tongue, her mouth was stained a deep red.

"Stop what?" he asked urgently, "Just tell me."

He could not see what was hurting her. He was helpless.

He was useless

She grabbed his arm and pulled him closer, her hands shaking and her brown eyes pleading with him

"Please…kill me…"

He pulled away from her, shaking his head. This couldn't be happening. Not again. Her eyes darted away from him and widened with fear. He followed her gaze with his wand but there was only darkness. She turned back to him and saw the same look of desperation in her eyes as he did that night. She reached for him

"Draco, please don't leave me with her. Don't leave, please…PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN!"

He watched in horror as an agonized scream tore through her, her back arching unnaturally from the ground.

"Stupefy!"

A red jet of light hit the suffering girl and she evaporated into smoke. He stared at the empty space on the floor as he heard footsteps descend the stairs.

"Draco?" he heard his cousin ask carefully.

"Please…," he closed his eyes at the sound of Granger's voice.

 _DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN_

"…give us a moment."

Lupin said something quietly before Draco heard his audience go upstairs

"It's okay," he closed his eyes at the sound of her voice, "it wasn't real." Even she sounded unsure. Shaking, he lifted himself off the ground and sat on the bottom step, holding his head in his hands. He heard her settle in on a couple steps above him and felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Are you…?"

"I'm fucking fine, Granger," he snapped, shrugging her hand from his shoulder. As soon as it was gone, he wanted it back.

 _Don't leave me_

A silence fell between them, neither of them particularly eager to talk about what they had seen.

"That's the dark object you told me about," he finally said, his voice holding more horror than he wanted it to. He thought again of the bruises around her neck and briefly wondered what she had seen.

"It needs to be destroyed," she continued carefully, exhaustion creeping into her voice, "but that's proving to be difficult."

"Even for you?" he asked, smirking; desperate to lift the burden of the memory from the air. He spared her a glance and wished he hadn't. She stared at the spot on the floor where she had been, her skin pale and her eyes haunted. It must be hard to see yourself like that, he thought, begging for your life. She finally tore her eyes from the empty space and looked at him, offering a tight smile

"Even for me."

"Granger…" he started, unsure of what he wanted to say. Sorry you had to see that. Sorry I was useless again.

"It's almost time for dinner," she cut him off, adamant to avoid the conversation, "I should go get it started."

He nodded, relieved. He wasn't exactly wanting to talk about it either. They stood from the stairs. She grimaced in pain, but quickly recovered.

"Alright?" he asked and she gave him an almost reassuring smile. He didn't buy it but it wasn't his place to argue with her. If she wanted to be in pain then that was her stupid decision.

* * *

She wouldn't let herself fall asleep. If she slept, the nightmares would surely come.

Especially after what she had seen

She pushed the image of herself contorted in agony away.

It wasn't entirely too difficult to stay awake since her back protested against any sort of movement. Hiding the pain from her friends had been difficult. She had bit back a whimper when she sat with down with everyone at dinner, hoping no one noticed her stiff movements.

Throughout their meager dinner, Hermione had felt Tonk's and Lupin's eyes on her and she fought to avoid eye contact with them altogether. They'd want to talk about what they had seen in the basement.

She absolutely did not want to do that

She spared a few glances in Malfoy's direction and once she had caught his attention, he quickly looked away. She wasn't sure what she wanted from him anyway.

She sat up slowly from her bed and bit back the pain, careful to avoid waking up Ginny. She stood up and walked quietly down the hallway before slipping into the bathroom and turning on the light

* * *

He couldn't sleep.

Every time he closed his damn eyes, he saw her. Heard her.

He felt an inexplicable anger towards her. Towards himself.

Draco wanted to yell at her. He wanted her to yell at him. Call him useless, awful, horrible.

Irredeemable.

 _You were the only thing I got right_

He selfishly, selfishly wanted her there. He looked to the wall next to him, knowing she was just on the other side. He thought of her laughing in the kitchen, smiling at him like none of it had happened; like he had never hurt her and left her at the mercy of his aunt's wand.

Draco sat up from his bed, looking for the book he had been reading. He left it downstairs.

Because of course he did.

Deciding a trip downstairs was worth the distraction of the book's pages, he stood from his bed, the floor creaking loudly under his weight. He exited his room and quietly shut the door behind him.

The light pouring from the barely open bathroom door and the sound of clinking bottles caught his attention. He winced as something clattered to the tiles and broke the night's silence. He heard a curse and knew it was her.

Draco made his way to the door and gently pushed it open. It's not like she knocked when she interrupted him.

Granger had one hand holding the sink while the other reached blindly for something behind the toilet

She wasn't wearing a shirt

He would've paid more attention to this fact if the entirety of her lower back hadn't blossomed into one purple and black bruise.

"That looks like it hurts."

She jumped at the sound of his voice and hit her head on the sink with a painful thud. He entered the room and crouched before her, watching her rub the injured spot on her head.

"What did you do that for?" she groaned, glaring at him

"You said you were alright," he said with accusation. "That," he continued, nodding towards her back, "is not 'alright'."

"Can you please not antagonize me at this moment?" she asked with an exasperated sigh. He saw the tired circles under her eyes and felt something tighten in his chest.

She couldn't sleep either.

"Well then I guess the only thing left to do is prevent you from doing any more damage to this house," he stood up and patted the sink sympathetically, "poor sink."

He looked down and saw her looking at him curiously. He sighed and held out his hand, "C'mon we don't have all night."

She smiled at him sadly and grabbed his hand, "You and I both know that neither of us is sleeping tonight."

He felt that same clench in his chest and forced a smirk onto his face as he helped her up.

"Well then I came overdressed."

He watched as the blush crept up her neck and onto her cheeks as she remembered that she was shirtless. Unintentionally, his eyes traveled to the heather gray bra and stopped on the jagged scar that ran the length of her sternum and stopped just a few inches above her navel.

She crossed her arms, covering herself and nodding towards the toilet, "I dropped the bruise paste behind there."

He was grateful for the chore as he felt his own face turn hot

"Good one, Granger," he said before bending down and grabbing the small vial. He untwisted the cap and gestured towards the bathtub, "sit."

She stepped into the empty tub and hissed in pain as she sat down on the edge facing away from him. He saw the muscles in her back tense as he stood behind her. He turned his attention to the bruise, regarding it clinically, "This looks pretty bad."

"Thank you, Dr. Malfoy," he heard her mumble.

He scooped some of the paste onto his fingers. "Not too much," he heard her say, "we have to save some just in case."

Draco rolled his eyes as he situated himself onto the ground and scoffed, "There's not even enough here for you."

"Then just the bad parts then."

"It's all a bad part. Ever heard of a renal contusion?"

She started to turn around in surprise, "How did you…"

"Turn back around, Granger."

She huffed but did as he said. He kneeled behind her, his eyes scanning the length of her back. Here, he could see the small scars scattered across her skin. Some were newer and an angry red while others were white and faded, reminding him that she had been fighting this war since entering their world.

Draco gathered more of the medicinal paste onto his fingers, hesitant to touch her skin. He found himself worried that he would hurt her

He dismissed this thought at ridiculous, annoyed with himself. The scene in the basement, the memory of the manor was testament that she could handle a little pain.

"This might hurt," he warned her

"That's okay," She said quietly.

His left hand gently held her side for support and he felt her shiver under his touch. With his right, he carefully pressed the medicine onto her back and she slightly recoiled,

"I'm sorry," he breathed, his eyes flickering to the back of her head. Her skin was warm and his left thumb unintentionally grazed the band of her bra. He watched the goosebumps rise on her skin and found himself relieved that she was just as affected by their contact.

He continued applying more medicine to the slowly fading bruise. She visibly relaxed as the pain alleviated. Her hand covered his in gratitude

"Thank you, Draco," her voice was hoarse as he felt her words vibrate against his palm. He let himself appreciate the touch of her hand. He never considered himself one to give much value to human touch, but now it felt invaluable.

He had to wonder if it was her. The same girl he had looked at with disgust for all those years as he imagined thick, dirty blood coursing in her veins. It was dizzying, his change of worldview and everything that came with it. He never would have guessed Hermione Granger would be there for his rebuilding.

"No problem, Granger," he replied huskily. She squeezed his hand once and let go before standing from the tub. They stood face-to-face, unspeaking. He tried to ignore the pink tint that lingered on her neck as he watched her watch him. His heart fluttered restlessly as she regarded him curiously, her eyes flickering to his lips. He thought of how she shivered when he had touched her skin. She gave him a questioning look before gesturing behind him with a soft smile

"Can you pass me my jumper?"

He cleared his throat and picked up the blue jumper that had been discarded on the ground. He tossed it at her, the sleeve smacking her in the face. She glared at him with no true anger and he snorted. He watched as she slid the jumper on and caught one more glimpse at her scar before it disappeared beneath the fabric. The question slid from his lips

"Was that from Dolohov?"

"I knew you were staring at my chest," she teased. But he saw her cross her arms over her body once again

"It's not exactly hard to miss," he replied, wanting to change his words as soon as they left his mouth.

She winced, her eyes dropping to the floor as she held herself tighter. For the first time that night, she seemed to be protecting herself from him.

There was a time where he felt his cruelty to be armor. Draco would feel powerful at the sight of someone cowering under his words. Now it just felt like a disease, a weakness. Which is what it was all along, wasn't it? He wanted to tell her that he knew this now. But did that make up for everything he had said and done? No. He knew this because he wasn't a fucking idiot. Neither was she. He had nurtured that side of him for so long, hadn't he? Even longer than the mark on his arm and the monster in his house.

"Goodnight, Malfoy," she said, giving him a sad smile before brushing past him and leaving him alone with the memory of her skin on his fingertips

* * *

She glanced up from tying her boot to make sure Ginny was asleep. Judging by the sound of the younger girl's snores, she was none the wiser as Hermione silently pulled on her winter gear. The red head would kill her when she realized she was gone, but she was willing to risk it.

They needed more food so she was going to get some. And if she was being really and truly honest with herself; she needed out of the house. It had only been a few days since they had gone of their disastrous mission, but that didn't count as a proper trip in her opinion. There was also the hope that a change of scenery may inspire something. She felt as if her thoughts had been on repeat as of late. Like thoughts of Malfoy's hands on her skin, his warm palm holding her carefully. The whole experience seemed unreal; a fever dream. Ever since then, she felt keenly aware of his absence.

He was avoiding her and she knew it. She thought of how she burned under his gaze, suddenly aware of every piece the war had taken and then left on her body.

Hermione froze at the sound of Ginny shifting in bed

"Where are you going?" she asked sleepily.

The older girl silently cast a confundus charm

"The bathroom. Go back to sleep."

"Okay. Goodnight," Ginny mumbled before turning back over to face the wall.

Hermione stood from the bed and pushed away the guilt. If anything happened to go wrong tonight, she did not want Ginny there for it.

She left the room and descended the stairs carefully, a silencing charm on her boots for good measure.

Hermione slipped into the night, welcoming the cold fresh air and the adrenaline awakening her body.

She thought of her younger self who had been terrified of breaking the rules, the thought of getting in trouble being almost unbearable. Although Hermione knew there would always be a part of her that cringed at the idea of being scolded, it was a far cry from the person she was now. She supposed the shift was inevitable once she became friends with Harry Potter.


End file.
